Not at peace because of a few old photos

I get sleepless at 2 am . I dont know what wrong with me . I wake up . I feel restless.
Hopeless a sense of ....oh ...i waken up again.
I took some sleeping pill to kick me back to sleep.
I am very bothered . Bothered by the fact of a few photos ( of past) . It just like rubbing salt in my wounds.That were an old photos . Indeed I did create a website for it .It is called geocities at weiling. But then I forgot about the whole issue after introducing to some good friends to the website . It is called twinkle twinkle weiling
Now it hurts more because I am nolonger that person in that picture . I am just a fat ass , walking around amd even my colleagues told me," Geraldine, you had been munching and munching and munching."

I unexpectedly munched ,because I am stress . I dont know why I am on anti depressant and I tried very hard to exercise I am still under great stress. It got me more stress when someone tell me he is holding back for years ..Because I afraid of everything in life .

I munched and muched till the fear go away .But it wont . but it only add calories to my body.

I promise myself ,maybe I should go for a jog together to kick my depression at bay .
I allow Mr L to affect my mood . I see mr L comments . I felt like a fool .

Maybe after all , all the time ..whatever.....

OKay .....................where should I go for now?
My brain is restless and not a peace...
It bringing back the hurts of the past ...
But ...Nerd said I can do it . Can use that as motivation to pull myself back together....

I dont know if i can anymore. I feel so low .I am on anti depressant. My sleeping pattern gone haywire. I feel sick lately . I munch my stress away ,but they never did any good ...
I muched and muched when I found MR L said I was needed anymore. So the motivation start to gone......