It is raining in my soul .Athough Novena church wasnt raining

I don’t know what he want from me . But I guess it is right . Someone said I look like a desperate lady looking for a relationship, even though I was old . I should be more confident. Men should do the chasing with the right critea . If He has no right critea like having a wife or divorced and whatever, Give it up . Don’t just be desperate. I start to imagine a lot . A few months , I went on dating site to try my luck . One advice from a friend said ,” you know why you got depressed? “ You live alone. Find a boyfriend and you sure be happier. “ So I thought I am opening my heart and get to know people and hope it would help me better
Now I feel sad , I guess someone go spreading around that I am desperate for a relationship . So I cried And on my way to go out , I meet someone who I don’t want to meet . I don’t know what he want from me? And he misunderstood I cry because of him .
Anyway I run away . And I take a train to nowhere . I ended at Novena .
I went to Novena church and talk to Jesus . I need some quiet time . I don’t want to be prototyped as desperate gal.
I don’t been said ,” U are unconfident gal and u like desperate for a relationship . If you are single , so be it .Why are u rushing?
U may end up with jerks who are making use of u to fill their empty soul .They don’t care if you are ugly or beautiful . If you are beautiful , it is bonus them . If not ,they had a fling and end everything . Wake up . keep away from all these boliao people. There is one problem with you .
YOU ARE TOO NIAVE AND YOU SIMPLY TRUST PEOPLE EASILY .
Then I came to see a sms which make me very depressed even more. Lead me on….Maybe what they were said was all true .
Tearing , I sat on the train , a man came over. Lady are u okay ? I wearily turn to guy and said I am fine .
The funny thing is my seat was empty beside me . He sat beside me and give me a tissue.
My mum rang me, and I kept crying but I couldn’t tell her why I was crying .
She got very worried. I am the most ugliest lady in this world , I wont slim down anymore. I am fat and ugly . I be on anti depressant forever. Mum I HATE THAT ….I am classified as a desperate lady , why the other went online for dating . They didn’t said him . They said me “.I yell through the phone and cried till my hear out
The man beside me ,”tap my bag and said,” Lady , you are beautiful . Sorry I overheard u said you are ugly .U know u had beautiful sharp lady features beautiful lips ,yah you are slight plump. And tell you , my friend wife is thin su yan zi .And when u see her in swimming costume. You will vomit .Yah thin people fit a lot of beautiful clothes. But been thin is not beautiful . U are not desperate. Everybody had this desire to be loved .Some can hide it very well ,maybe you didn’t disguise yourself well enough .Why did you do dating sites in office? This society is a jungle ,Lady U just didn’t meet the right one yet , I haven’t found the right one too ,but my condition wont allow me anymore .”
I look at him blindly because I am confused. Then he continue,” sorry ,I heard that you taking anti depressant . You know what I am on now? Worst than you . I got cancer in my colon .And I am on the way to tan tock seng,”
Suddenly , the tears went off . It was novena . I think his words came as a shock to me. He alighted with me and said bye bye to me on the gateway out . “Be Strong, Go do some shopping and cheer yourself up. A beautiful gal shouldn’t be crying.”
I went to novena church . Kneel down on the bench and pray .
Well………….“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”—Unknown

Sometimes we believe in “something” so much it will take a typhoon to curve our thirst. The greatest gift of believing in that “something” is what makes our heart and mind become at one with that “something”. The ability to succeed at any task or venture requires a full commitment in the process to achieve one’s goal. It is vital when faced with hopelessness; you maintain your belief in achieving success. Always remember what ever is worth having does not come to pass easily, whether that be materials or love. But if the person just want it to pass , it is not worthy anymore.

Once you achieve that “something” it is not the end of the road. You have to continually proving your worthiness to maintain that “something”. It requires constant work to maintain that “something” you wanted and sacrificed. Once you take your “something” for granted, you will eventually lose your worthiness, thus losing your precious “something”.--Mo