Love ..... Interesting words

Love .
I did it because I love her . That explanation is given for all kind of actions.
A man involved in adulterous relationship , and he calls it love .
The preacher, on the otehr hands , calls it sin .
The wife of an alcoholic picks up pieces after her husband latest episode. She calls it love ,but pscyhologists call it co depedency .
The parents indulges all the child wishes,calling it love . The family therapist would call it irresponsible parents .
WHAT IS LOVING BEHAVIOUR ?
Taken from The 5 languages of love . Gary Chapman .
having to read this book . I find this part quoteable and good.

The Obasan me

Today .. In order to CURB my desire for Potato Chips .
I went to AMK hub and buy heealthy food and turn out to be a SHOPPING trip where I become a OBASAN ...buying and planning for today dinner...
OH .. I am hopless...

I am ONLY Me

I read an encouraging words from a friend .
Hi words were good and I get very reassure and that stop me from my carbonhydrate urge .
PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ALL THOSE NEGATIVE REMARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY YOU TAKE THOSE NEGATIVE REMARKS SO SERIOUSLY, a lot of your problem is because of you CARE TOO MUCH OF WHAT OTHER PPL COMMENTS ON YOU. You are always you……..


Here an article which I found why are we carving for potato chips .

Good Health Forums

Someone remind me.,...

Thursday, 28 April 2011 14:04:42
RE: Hi Geraldine
...
From:
"Best, Gillian"
...
View Contact
To: Geraldine Chan

Hi Geraldine



You mustn’t worry so much, as EVERYBODY has times that they feel nothing is going ok. If you are feeling a bit low, accept that and continue on as best you can, it is tough, no one is saying that life is easy or that you don’t feel things, but try and continue on, and there is always the hope that you will ‘work through’ the feeling. Don’t give up, remember how far you have come, and keep on trying. Give yourself a break and read a good book, or just sit and watch the tv and chill out. But, don’t get uptight and just remember that you will get through this and don’t forget to ask God to help you!!!



Take care,

sleep ..hello hello my mind muddy , my heart heavy..

JAmes Blunt Same mistake
So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars beneath my feet

Remember rights that I did wrong
So here I go Hello, hello
There is no place I cannot go
My mind is muddy
but My heart is heavy, does it show
I lose the track that loses me
So here I go oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo.
.. And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night,
said "Have you seen my enemy?" said "he looked just like me"

So I set out to cut myself
And here I go oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again, oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

And maybe someday we will meet
And maybe talk and not just speak
Don't buy the promises
'cause There are no promises I keep,
and my reflection troubles me
so here I go oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake (REPEAT) again oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo... So

while I'm turning in my sheets And once again, I cannot sleep Walk out the door and up the street Look at the stars Look at the stars, falling down, And I wonder where, did I go wrong.



Just like this song on emotional period for me.
I start to look back ....
My mun as usual nagging ............
But she dont know i feel like crying ....

7 mental stragties

-20 Seconds to consider whether you really want to squander
calories on a pieces of cake.

Be responsible for what you eat .
Accountable for her food intake .
At dinner, she made decision in her flavour , both at the moment
and for the next day . She was in control and she felt good
about it .
Plus she wasn't suffering from pangs of deprivation or feelings of being
left out .
Take charge of your carlies , your weight loss , and
most of all ,yourself.

Snack before you food shop.

Give yourself the gift of fun , not food.

Window shop for food
Live within your calories budgetand shop for the best calories values.
Access whether or not being attracted to food means that you really want them.

Know your enemy .
Mary was finally able to stop her hungry assault on the after -church goodies by acknowledging
thier tempting present and providing her private defence weapn .

IT IS POSSIBLE TO FACE AND CONQUER YOUR FOOD TEMPTATION

Nothing under the sun catch my sense

I am very stress lately .
And I into Kettle chips .. I take 1 packet of kettle chips everyday . My good colleagues asked me U are reducing fat right . Everyday We see u munching all the way . It wouldn't helped much .
I told them . I don't care . I am too stress to reduce weight .
I have no motivation to trim fatness because I am very upset and Stress.
WHAT AM I STRESSFUL ABOUT ?

That the question I had been asking myself .

I start to hate everything around me.
Find it overwhelming and taxing .
No Joy in anything.
Nothing seem to interest me at all.
Something was wrong with me.

I had good friends , everything ...What was lacking in my life?
Focus , Hope .....

What was wrong , I couldnt reply that .

What I wanted ?
Where am I going ?
why I am so lost ?
I am sick of grumbling and nagging of parents.
I feel cautious afraid of everything around me

But why I love carbohydrate food? They just calm my spirit down.

BUT I forgotten or purposely forgotten that carbohydrate is going to increase my weight around the waist line.

I had lost my determination and interest in everything suddenly .

Attracted to AMK TECJ POINT Five FOot WAY LAttee

Today I had a happening day ..... Is It too much caffeine inside my system ..That i am beginning not able to take stress.


I abit shaky and wobbled....Always remember as long as one xxxx ..forget it .No Big deal

The other day KettleChip was Cheddar Flavour

KEttlechip madness lately

I am INTO KETTLECHIP lately . It start when my collegue offer one and then I start to feast on it .

I had to STop feasting on it .But I cant . I thought i would stop myself from buying yet ...at noon , I went berserk and dine again.

SO dont stress me as I overeat whenever I am stress.

Attracted to the 5 foot LATtee at AMK teck point

I would always drink coffee from Five foot way . I am attracted to the LATTEE lately .into caffeine.

Each cup cost around 3 dollar.
I thank God that Hankiat was patient and gentle , and I mean I think somebody else would find fault in my job and just make things difficult for me . I had done so much errors. And all errors are reduadant .THANK God that Han Kiat didnt just skin me off and was patient to explain to me where i go wrong

I saw KT yesterday and we spoke . I am so happy .

So I guess I am blessed .

INTO kettlechip every morning .. HELP ME

INTO kettlechips...
Love it saltist and then ... after one pieces You wont feel enough ..

Where had I been GONE? RUN AWAY

Friend , dont ask me why I dont bother to reply any emails , anything . I am kinda of moody ..Sick ...Physically , See the doctor , prescribed me antibodic .


Lately I am indulging in good mood unhealthy food . I had just taken pop corns from famous shop where I collect my night energized stuff on saturday , and sunday I had a packet of Kettle . And....I dont want to talk about how my life ,how I feel , what I am thinking . I just want to shut down . Is that possible? Suddenly I find everything seem to be more superificial for me.

This morning , I started with a pack of KETTLECHIPS( cheddar cheese flavor) I must had it because I had a strong urge of desire of saltiest in my diet . I also start with Lattee from the 5 foot store at Teck Point Ang Mo kio . It doesn’t taste as nice as starbucks or coffee bean ,but it taste better than the Nescafe I had.
Lately I am in dilmena . I beginning to worry about myself .
I don’t want to have any expectation in anything . I start to want to run away . Run away to where I don’t know . Just run away . I don’t want to sink deeper in the spirial of hopefulness and then it goes crashing down it will drive me more in maniac depression.
As one say , once there is no hope ,then there is no disappointment . No expectation , no disappointment.
Something is wrong . what is wrong ? I don’t know .
I just want to be alone .
I have always been moody. When I was just a little child, as early as I can remember, I have wanted to be alone. I detest crowds, don’t like many people. I used to crawl into a corner and sit and think, think things over
"I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be let alone
爱情啊，它是个懒东西。
　　你不去理它，它也不会来招惹你。
　　你若太在乎它了，它就反咬一口，让你痛不欲生。
爱情很懒，但是很美。

Adapted from http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewPoetry.asp?id=185738


I want to run away,



Just be gone – check out



I long to hide away



And bury my head in my hands



To just cry until I am all cried out



Done - no tears left



Cry till all the sad is gone







I wish for long, long hours to sleep



To rise only to return and slip back



between sheets that never cooled



I desire the sleep of no interruption



Till all the exhaustion has lifted



From my heavily laden eyes







But… none of this will I do



I will get up each day the crack of dawn



I will continue the endless motions



That make this life of mine work



Putting one foot in front of the other



Over and over again

A eastern sunday and God

I dont y i told mum,i want to go church.after lifeng motivated me to go bk to church.i reach church seen too muc plpe.i walked out of my church,ordered an ice cool cocao cappuccino.i sat below air con,took out.time crunched triathlete,preparing to read.the cool air make my cappucino colder,a sense of freezing.i decided to order hot cacoa.my mum wld ring me,and say where had u gone?where had u gone?where?an question which i tried vry hard to answer.


A letter tO God.u dun know y i ran away frm u.u know it God.it is life,i got fed up of living.y am i here?tis world dun fit with your values,i had tried hard to be wat u want me to be.but what am i now?i m nowhere,but an ugly fat ass,mocked by plpe.wat the pt u r trying to let me c.i dont know anymore,and maybe i dont want to know.i juz feel like runming away frm u,and everything.i juz want to be alone.alone with u God,if u dun destest me.i think i may temporarily run away frm it all.i want to old me bk,healthy,happy,was i happy when i was where i was in the past.i dont know,and no longer know,maybe ignorance is a blessing.god r u still there.

Thinking

Lately,i m filled with moments of up and low.here i m at compass point wait,i came with a sudden rush of giddness.my heart sudden palipated and feelrn giddy.

Lately,i m busy.but there r times tat i dont know,wat i busy off.now i goin promelade,i decide to write a few lines.there is an accquitance who shared the same bday .i found tat plpe who share the same bday may not be sharing the same character.i m glad.coz yoda back up watever i feel 2.werid is the word.i felt tat i m not only the same one feeling tat way.i be late 4 my u350 rum.even in dreams,i dreamt abot eating.oh pathetic me.i felt encouraged by hello kitty and yoda.i be bk to where i m.shrink bk.tat encouraging!

MY ideas and bad cactus am I

The cactus that hurt
I really think I am a cactus .
I think I too rigid .After hearing a story of a 2 year relationship who gone sour . I think I just got super rigid .
One is one . I cannot accept one can be a binary code . And they add up to be many things .
I am too RIGID .That is my problem .
In my understanding of love , was always different from other . That why . I never find any .
RELATIONSHIP THAT ARE APPEALING at the outset can turn disaster at with time . The gentle wound of cupid arrows can before a painful thron in a flesh and many who swear by commitment to each other soon find they they are swearing it .
Many Christian really want to experience the uniquesness of a christian home , they ‘re unware of non christian pressure of our culture that greatly ,weaken the desire . All too often , they developed spiritual discrememt . their ship are blown off course by prevailing cultural winds.
My term of courtship is simple , hour talking each other . And relationship was should be marked by lack of physical involvement (not lack of physical attraction) ,get to know each other gaols , dreams , and background
The world know little of this kind of love – the variety said that I know you well – your strength and your faults – and I accept you anyway .”
What are the values of the nations now?
Our culture exerts a strong pill on our lives that we can easily brainwashed into the following the pattern around us , only to arrive on the other side of altar with a ho hum marriage .
God warns us ,” Do not learn the way of nations .. for the customs ofpeople are worthless .(Jeremiah 10:2-3)
What are the ways I seen
Living for the momet .
The philosophy in living for the moment is everywhere . You only go around once in life , so grab for all the gusto you can get .” If it feel good , do it “ If you are angry , explode and you will feel better .James said ,” You lutst and do not have ; so you commit murder( James 4:2) meaning that you fulfill your passions immediately , even if you have to sacfire another person welfare.
Many people takem a bite of right now apple ,howerever . they found after marriage that when their initial attraction wore off .They had five difficult years of financial woes , small children and martial counseling have demonstrated t to them the repercussion of living for the pleasure of moment .
I guess why some pastor refuse to marry2 people have not been seriously courting for at least six months . It SIMPLY TAKE TIME TO KNOW SOMEONE .ian , t If one had know each other longer with the complication of physical involvement , they might avoid a disappointing marriage
For Christian , divorce is unthinkable because the scripture teaches the marriage is a symbolic picture of Christ union with his bride , The church (Ephesians 5:23)
In spite of our unfaithfulness as the bride , he is committed to us for eternity . Based on that relationship , DIVORcE IS NOT AN OPTION FOR 2 believers ; to entertain the possibility means you shouldn’t thinking of marriage . To a culture ,that live for amooment and marries for the moment , the Christian concept of lifelong commitment to one person stand in sharp contract .
God is capable of bringing the right person into your life – on his timetable , not ours . When it come to dating , courtship and marriage , the stakes are simply too high to live for the moment .
Living for sensual .
In the book Open Marriage , Broken Marriage .
There were these couples I know . They were open . They were honest . They were having affairs . They were not sneaking around(applause) , they were not lying( applause) , they were being honest (whistles) . They were open . Everybody agreed that it was wonderful . The men agreed , and the women agreed and I agreed and it all made you wonder . Then they split . There was something wrong . In variable someone wouldn’t take it . It had nothing to do with head . The head understood . It was the heart , it was, you should p pardon the expression ,BROKEN.
It all made you think . It made you think that maybe there are things we still don’t know about men and woman and maybe before we spit in th eye of tradition we ought to know what we are doing . I have some theroies and one of them is that one of the ways you measure love is not with words , but with a action , with commitment and with what you are willingly to give up , with what you are willing to share with none else.
Thie world has shortsignted ,painfully inadequate understanding of all that God meant sex to be .Sex involves all that you are as a person brought together with another whole person to reflect the complete oneness of Christ , and his bride ,the church . God devoted one book in bible ,Songs of Songs(Song of Solomo) primarily to a descrption of the height of physical enjoyment possible in married love.
What is marriage .
A man shall leave his father and mother . Severance
And shall cleave to his wife . Permanence
They become one flesh . Unity
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed . Initimacy
God doesn’t offer any alternatives lifestyles in marriage . His intention in bringing a man and a woman together is that they establish a new family that is not merely an extension of their parental homes . They are to be bound together spirituality , psychologically , emotionally and physically as long as they live.

A song Humming in my brain ...

你把我灌醉
Lately after I allow friends into my life . I learnt more people . I met people who is sincere and truthful And I also meet people who are I think different from others . I also realized having the same birthday as on eperson , it doesn’t meant the person had the same character as another .
Lately my life is filled with unexpected sunshine, Every morning , It would be a zest for life . Coz I meet a friend who is filled with optimism, but I get worried if one would get turn off after seeing the real me . As I suffer from seeing the real me syndrome.
Whatever , I should be more confident of myself as one say .
SO here come a long weekend , I am looking forward it . As I will meeting my friend , but I had my fear of meeting my friend .
T he story of cactus plants
. A few cactus plants are very cold .So they start to gather close together to gain warm .And then they were close enough to gain warm .but then they start to feel each other pricks start to be poking against each other .
I am most afraid of that . What after I gain enough warm , then it learnt that I had a lot of pricks and start hurting others .So the story talked about the art of staying warm together ,yet not pricking each other . I feel that is the difficult thing in my life As I confess, I am extremist . I could either love something , or hate something . I cant do it half way love and half love hate . I can listen to same music for every day for 1 year and never get bored .
Like this morning , I start the day by listening to KIT CHAN “ You make me drown .” Maybe lately I feel I am drowned by optimism ,kindness and great humor.
Have you ever passed by someone and happen to just see one .. And that person left a small foot print . It is like the story ,” Walk left , Walk right .” And then you walk a big round , actually you found the person . It is kind of of so devaju feeling.


开 往城市边缘开
把车窗都摇下来 用速度换一点痛快
孤单 被热闹的夜赶出来

却无从告白 是你留给我的悲哀
哦 爱 让我变得看不开
哦 爱 让我自找伤害

把我灌醉 你让我流泪
扛下了所有罪 我拼命挽回
你把我灌醉 你让我心碎
爱得收不回*

最好最坏都猜
你为何离开 可惜永远没有答案
对我 你爱得太晚

又走得太快 我的心你不明白
哦 爱 让我变得看不开
哦 爱 让我自找伤害

.我梦到那里你都在 怎么能忘怀
你那神秘的笑脸 是不是说
放不下你是我活该

如这歌"爱 让我变得看不开" ， "哦 爱 让我自找伤害"
只要有爱就会有疼。我害怕掺闪删任何人。但是这种感觉是不由你来说的。

"我梦到那里你都在 怎么能忘怀。"
"你那神秘的笑脸 是不是说"
人因为那神秘， 让我有点我灌醉 的感觉。甚至会有梦到。。。

但是有女生人对我说，"你可不要多情了，没人会喜欢你的。现在的你。照镜子吧！"
Okay … What up from my Tarzan dream . Sometimes I think there will be some prince outside who can save me from this jungle and teach me how to hunt and then …..okay ..wake up ..knock knock .
Then weekend, doing volunteer job at Kranji Dog Shelter. I do worried about volunteer job . What if …what if … as I was reminded , you love to say what if inside your brain. Let think some positive things .
What if you enjoy yourself and you decided you want to stay with the dogs forever .
What if you learn more from helping shelter dog . And you want to set up your own . wouldn’t it be a adventure?
Sometimes I dread been me.
Been me is like…What is me?
I know I had no brain on my own .I used to love to draw , watch animation (Slam Dunk , Kenan) you named it ,some borrow from my classmates , and some buy the monthly comic magazines. But my dad wouldn’t like it when I buy them because they are considered useless in his eyes.
I remember contributing to the newspaper and my drawing was published .
That was one happiest period of my life.
What I really want in my life? I never really question. I just go with the flow.
I never choose my life path . Because I basically live for other . Not for myself .
Yah Yoga lesson . I was shocked when Peter ( My Yoga instructor ) start to help me to unpack my yoga mat for me . I never expect that kindness .Then he taught us to mediate in sitting “Lotus position” and then do quiet mediation and explain a lot .But I found all my limbs are like numb . I couldn’t even twist or bend properly .
AS Hisham ,,my Pilate s instructor used to tell me. “You Gal , must be super stress up in my life. Take coffee to gain energy and take sugary stuff to reduce stress , sit infont of PC everyday .”
I say Yes Sir . How do you know ?
He answered , I am a holistic nutrition too . By the way you bend and your flexibility , all of you are reveal in your position .
Hahahah… I met him recently .But he didn’t recognize me . I don’t dare to call him , as I promise I buy him chocolates from Melbourne and I didn’t .
OKAY I had to rush my work after I think of things to be grateful of .

你把我灌醉

Today I Brought Kit Chan Latest Album while going for my yoga lesson . Just like her song .Google to find it but it was in low quality and decided to buy it .
then I had share about why I go crazy at time to a friend. had a good Chat with friend.

你把我灌醉

开往城市边缘开把车窗都摇下来
用速度换来一点痛快孤单被热闹的夜赶出来
却无从告白是你留给我悲哀
哦爱让我变得看不开
哦爱让我自找伤害
你把我灌醉你让我流泪
扛下了所有罪我拼命挽回
你把我灌醉你让我心碎爱得收不回
唔……
猜最好最坏都猜
你为何离开可惜永远没有答案
对我你爱的太晚又走的太快
我的心你不明白
我梦到哪里
你都在怎么能忘怀
你那神秘的笑脸是不是说
放不下你是我活该

CHildhood - Homing Pigeon and Christian The LION

My childhood .
Can I say I am homing Pigeon?
I wrote that a friend.
Wha is my childhood?
I came a traditional well defined family . My parents were strict with me. There was always curfew time for me . I never go to chalet ,disco pub and party . My world is simple with family ,Home work place , You listed it .
My dad placed me good school (Seeded) in my generation . You need to queue up to get into the school . That school is a Buddhism school . And well , all my peers went famous secondary school . I was left behind . I was classified as useless in my dad eye because he felt that he invest a lot of me.
I had learned to play piano ,although I depised piano . My grandfather brought that for me . And I don’t even know what is a piano , I love organ , the loud sound . But I don’t know why it turn out to be a piano . I hate piano when my Yamaha teacher would slap my finger as she remind that I had to curl my fingers whenever I play the piano . Thus after every piano lesson it hurts madly .
So I learnt to play the piano and got struck in grade 1. But now I think I want to learn piano back .But when I found out the course, I thought maybe after all , I cannot commit so much in every monthly learning and I had to relearn everything
Well , I shared about my family.
.I guess I cant be bothered to talk thing with my family or anybody already . It is because it had been way of life like this for 30 over years . I guess after been a homing pigeon for so many years , I guess it is very hard to tame the homing lion and then make him to go back to the jungle and fight on his own . Have you read the story of Christian the Lion?He was small cub beening beens a ved from the circus and been brought and then his owner were quite worried when they put him back into the wild. 2 thing can happen . he either died in the wild as nobody had trained him to fight enemies .But I think they did scenario fighthing to train him back to wild . And then after he went to jungle , they fear that he wouldn’t remember them and lost his taming sense. But he didnt . He still remember the 2 people who baby fed him . I cried reading this book .

So either one would be killed Or he would slowly intergrate .So sometimes I imagine there is some prince who saved me and teach me how to hunt and then I can tarzan with him and I can be placed back to the jungle...Circle of life.hahahahahah.. But I dont want to wild beast ,losing my sense of dignity and pride and I think I value and cherish my parents teaching.
-----------Childhood----------------

Suffering from Injuries due to barefoot running

Well,
It is good to have friend in your depressed life. Lately I am getting more and more better.

But recently I did a stupid thing of doing running barefoot.I had intense pain last night that I didnt attend my kickboxing .

so today i think I wont want to miss my YOGA training .

With the right exercise and right eating and good friend , I think I will get better .

So After 2 run ... should I prepare for 21km.

SO I conquer the URUn .Now what?

I kinda of depressed again .But this morning ,an email cheer me up.
It make me think WOOSH it is a good day to go head after reading that email .I share my background, how I was brought up , my loving yet protective family story.

I was gloomy as one of collegue had left the company . She was touched and she cried.
I thought alot about it . Anyway I went to her farewell. She asked a goodbye hug . I didnt know it was her last day .Thus I didnt dare to for the fear that i may smell rotten as it is already 5pm . So I didnt gave any goodbye hug.After I place some perfume ,ready to give her a hug . I asked my other collegue where is her?
She left earlier today .

I realised...Oh.. It is too late.

A sense of emotion came over me . isnt she good? She had family and she just migrate with her hubby to oversea and then goodbye.
Anyway .....Let snap out of it .
'
My leg muscle are still cramping from sunday run . I guess I shouldnt just run barefoot suddenly . I should gradually increase training in barefoot slowly .

Okay Remind me to register for Mizano wave run .

KNOWLEGEABLE HELLO KITTY?

Hello Kitty SAY .

Ok lah....not that bad mah.... guess it is the side effects of the SSRI....once things r stabaly ised & when u r off the drugs u should "shrink" back again.

Be positive & cheerful! Just tell yourself, a bit round round looks more cute mah.....haha....just laugh it off & u will feel better trust me! Knowing it is only temporary as the side effect of the drug & that is all there is!

Did u know that in the peak of my "Roundness" career I was 105kg! In other words, 0.1+ Tonnes. Sounds more like the weight of a shipment cargo than a celebrity cat! Haha....

I knew I put on weight but I did not realise it was that bad until one day I was mobilised by the army in an open mob exercise. I rush home grab the uniforms that I had not worn for 5 yrs; Then I realise the pants totally cannot "hook on". There was a gap of like 4 to 5 inches between the hooks!!!! So I used rubber band to secure the hooks(Undies exposed!!). The army pants was so tight I looked like a ballet dancer in thighs!!! My shirt only can button the top 2 buttons. Same thing use rubber band! haha!!

We can all look back & have a good laugh. On the same token, u will too very soon. So just be cheerful & be patient with the effects of the drug & u will be back to your original weight in no time! :)

Thanks Hello Kitty , you had confident that i will be back to my orginal . To be Honest , I dont know . I sometimes just want to THROW the anti depressant away instead of whinning them off slowly .
I just cant think right and there are times I hate of beening on them .

But SSRI help me to not to be crappy , oversenstive and strongly THEY HELP ME TO SLEEP AT NIGHT . I think not fully ,but at least I am able to work .

I dont break down suddenly .

BUT laTELY been teased of been fat . I had a plan to THROW THEM AWAY .

But then Yoda and Hello Kitty remind me .
I share my deepest evil thought in my mind ...
THROW THEM AWAY AND GET BACK TO PAST ME ... and .....nomore side effects .
BUT Hello kitty is right .. He advise me again .

Let your Doc advise you on when to get off it and never just "stop" taking it cold turkey .....there may be very severe withdrawal symptoms & side effects by suddenly stopping....

I think the Doc may need to switch you to fluoxetine for the longer half life and/or reduce the dosage progressively for your body to adapt. Overall, let the Dov advise you on when it is the best time to get off. Key thing is to let your condition improve first.....

Discuss with your Doc & follow his advise...


Once again HElLo kitty is very knowlegeable sian .Indeed I agreed..Side effect cana be severe . SO Suddenly PEOPLE I DISAPPEAR and dont want to talk TO Anybody and then just MIA .

You know ... It may be side effect of the withdrawal of SYMPTOMS .

Dont be offend if I suddenly feel like disappearing .

Coz I am KICKING OFF THE DRUG . whinning them slowly . I am quite impatient to do that .

Hello Kitty SAY .

Ok lah....not that bad mah.... guess it is the side effects of the SSRI....once things r stabaly ised & when u r off the drugs u should "shrink" back again.

Be positive & cheerful! Just tell yourself, a bit round round looks more cute mah.....haha....just laugh it off & u will feel better trust me! Knowing it is only temporary as the side effect of the drug & that is all there is!

Did u know that in the peak of my "Roundness" career I was 105kg! In other words, 0.1+ Tonnes. Sounds more like the weight of a shipment cargo than a celebrity cat! Haha....

I knew I put on weight but I did not realise it was that bad until one day I was mobilised by the army in an open mob exercise. I rush home grab the uniforms that I had not worn for 5 yrs; Then I realise the pants totally cannot "hook on". There was a gap of like 4 to 5 inches between the hooks!!!! So I used rubber band to secure the hooks(Undies exposed!!). The army pants was so tight I looked like a ballet dancer in thighs!!! My shirt only can button the top 2 buttons. Same thing use rubber band! haha!!

We can all look back & have a good laugh. On the same token, u will too very soon. So just be cheerful & be patient with the effects of the drug & u will be back to your original weight in no time! :)

Thanks Hello Kitty , you had confident that i will be back to my orginal . To be Honest , I dont know . I sometimes just want to THROW the anti depressant away instead of whinning them off slowly .
I just cant think right and there are times I hate of beening on them .

But SSRI help me to not to be crappy , oversenstive and strongly THEY HELP ME TO SLEEP AT NIGHT . I think not fully ,but at least I am able to work .

I dont break down suddenly .

BUT laTELY been teased of been fat . I had a plan to THROW THEM AWAY .

But then Yoda and Hello Kitty remind me .
I share my deepest evil thought in my mind ...
THROW THEM AWAY AND GET BACK TO PAST ME ... and .....nomore side effects .
BUT Hello kitty is right .. He advise me again .

Let your Doc advise you on when to get off it and never just "stop" taking it cold turkey .....there may be very severe withdrawal symptoms & side effects by suddenly stopping....

I think the Doc may need to switch you to fluoxetine for the longer half life and/or reduce the dosage progressively for your body to adapt. Overall, let the Dov advise you on when it is the best time to get off. Key thing is to let your condition improve first.....

Discuss with your Doc & follow his advise...


Once again HElLo kitty is very knowlegeable sian .Indeed I agreed..Side effect

u need to groom yourself ...

I love been classify as "Beautiful" today by the cute Shirleen . I love her honesty and bluntness. Beening with her , I never worried too much . She is more true friend more trurer than anybody . She would say I am beautiful at certain day only.That make her comments feel more true to me .


So based on what she say ,I realized what my mum said was right . "I cant be bother to make up ." Yah . I feel it is very troublecome to dress up and make up . I like to be some slack and in causal wear , in a light coolmax T-Shirt and a big size basketball short that my brother wear them for basketball session . It is so comfortable. who cares if I look like a pregnant lady in that .But you named it . After people giving remarks , it hurt me abit .OuCH.!

So someone in office would cheekly asked me and joked ,” Are u in love lately, we find there is sunshine in you ?”


In love? I dont know what is love ? Sometimes I think love is something you cant know. And when u least know it , it come knocking at your door . Hanqiang you are one strong example of this .

So sometimes I strong feel if the right person come , he would just come . And I had to make myself one full person first .I dont know how to love myself , at times I hate myself , my existence and been me .So I am trying very hard to be one complete person before I find the complete person to make 2 become 1 .


As it is the unity of 1 person with another person . I dont believe in half + half become one. LOVE NEVER FAILS .

In love ? I dont know .But I only make up or dressed up for special occasion. For presentation or gathering .Else you named it .

So In love lately ? Someone joked with me . I can say honestly I dont know .To early to say that.

.But I know I found true friend and this is a charming friend Prince of Persia , the sand of time . I never expect him not to depise me.Because I had always think Charming guy would always only take care or bother about pretty ladies. The rest .They become the extra who make the beautiful look out . Yah . I am sterotyping . I agreed .But somehow isnt this world is for the beautiful people. I always feel charming people appear in magazines and the charming guy would drive the beautiful gal home . Ugly Fat Glee Lady .they belong to the crying session of the movie. So This guy prince of Persia really amazed me . I never expect a charming guy like him to be my friend.Okay !We both agreed that we will be VERY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.Nobody get hurt in beening good friends.

But back to me,I strongly belive that people after seeing my photo ,they would get turn off . But to be honest , in year of my life as I grew fatter due to side effect of medicine , and also my depression, I am obessed with food . I eat whenever I am stress . I can feast on ice-cream (one pint of it) , chocolates big bar . I just feel horrible and after feasting on them . I had a short moment of happiness,but forever pain of extra pound on me .So ever since I become Sammi Cheng Movie" Fat Gal". I guess ...for the first time, Sxxxzz wasn’t turn off by me . He was a young boy.I think he is young little boy . There was one sad thing was he wasn’t honest with his age with me ,for fear of losing our friendship. And because of his age mystery,I had to ask him a few times and then it ended up that one fine day ,he confronted me suddenly and cliamed that I am not interested in him and he wish me all the best .

I felt his confession came too fast and got me freak out . I told him ,” I need time to get to know people . He argued that I can just enjoy his chasing and he argue that He cant help beening nice to me, and I am quite adorable and he really like me.”

For the frist time after I am on Ant I depressant and increase in weight . Yoda ,U believe I will be back to where I used to be . I dont think I will . Maybe I can , if someone motivate me to exercise . Yah Shawn and May .hahahah..they motivate to go back to daily routine of lunch workout .
But beening fat ,I never believed anybody would find flavor in me or like me.
I realized , Subba was right . I may not know who am I . At times, I am quite charmatic , and I am funny and whenever I laugh , I become very beautiful . He shared about I care about people alot , considerate ,caring,respect for the elder , love animals ,helpful and a kind heart was something which attract him to me. He said he dont understand why I keep emphasis on my weight .Well .He strongly believe that beauty is in the eye of be holder . Okay . I better not self boast about myself .No But I guess I was very inferior after all . And this morning , I recieved encouraging mail from Adrain. He was funny when he say you are fat , SO WHAT .

The way that Adrain put it seem cool to me .Adrain, he also empthasize that as ladies we tend to be obessed with our weight and maybe he is a guy.

Well, Yah ,Depression black dog had taken a bad bite at me .I then honestly tell him that I used to be slim and this sudden change seem to crash me further down in despair.And I meet some evil people who really been shallow and sacastic.

Well. yesterday I email my photo to Mr Manhunt. and at first my depression black dog start barking at me again . after a few hours,He didn’t sms me back . I get senstive. So I thought," oh , maybe he afterall wanted a beautiful friend . " And the monster inside me kept saying,"U are SO UGLY and see u freak him out again ."

But I swallowed my pride and I sms him again after a few hours, just to say thank you . Then I learnt that he didn’t receive my photo yet . OH well again , I nearly doubt someone's friendship because of the monster inside of me . You cant blame me ,"I always feel people will like beautiful things . To be fair , I also love my dog because he is cute and adorable . I didn’t love my neighbor hotdog dog because I feel that neighbour dog is the out of proportion size . SO I learnt afterall we all are human.

Maybe I should forgive and thank when someone been honest to reject me and call me AUNTIES at time at Bus . I felt super embrassed when ,people say to thier children ,"Thank Aunty for giving up her seat to u"

OKAY ." I am AUNTY already . I am not married . SINGLE and they called me aunty .What hurting most is when a young boy who give up his seat because he think I am pregnant .Great.My Basketball shorts and Big Sized COOL MAX T-SHIRT!

Mr Prince of Persia impressed me a lot , when He say he like been true and been close to the nature . That impressed me . How many people out there ,will want to see a friend fresh out of bed ,messy hairstyle or preparing to go to bed. That make me feel your friendship is truer to me. Yah ,There are people We see each other in camping trips .And I never been confident whenever I had no make up over me . So I dont go camp.

But to be honest, I also love to see the nature side of one person . SO I believe there are a number of people whom they are not some shallow people .A Good friend of mine. Prince of Persia .I am blessed indeed to know him and times ,He would bring light to my gloomy day and make me giggles. We promise to be good friend .VERY GOOD FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.....

I don’t want to list out more wonderful people i met …and I think u all know who u are and therefore you are brought to website . Mr Manhunter sms me back “ Have some confident of yourself .” “ No worries lah . I am not handsome.”

But well I strongly felt that manhunter is better looking than me . Due to fact knowing that I am depressed and turn plumper by 20kg now. OPPS I hope I can bring it down . So that made me totally feel SUPER inconfident and horrible negative about everything .So thanks Mr man hunter! But I think U are from Manhunt and yet you humbly state you are not handsome . U all make me to think that I had to change the sterotype of charming guys who not be shallow guys .

Sometimes ,I wonder if Manhunt,are u out to comfort me .But yah …Nice people do exist afterall in this life I am living . I had to trust the power who give this life to love here. I must learn that I need to forgive other and learn to kind to ourselves mentally .I released all need for anger , resentment and blame . I truly forgive all those that need forgiving and I forgive myself . I look forward to this day with love and peace and joy and anticipation of abundance good in every area. Whereever you are going today send love to that place.


WHY AM I SO INCONFIDENT , INSECURE? my childhood.

Well I remember when I was little young lady , My funny dad would always bluff me to shopping malls and then he purposely let me wonder off to my favourite toy section. That period , my favourite toy was “ Mickey Mouse”. And then I ended up crying with that small mickey moouse,when I found that my dad disappear. My dad went back to his hawker stall . I carried the mickey mouse on my hand and walked out of the department store and I cried looking for my lost dad .

I guess I felt abandoned and insecured after that . And btw , the little Mickey mouse is still with me .



My dad felt that if we will to take the toy back . The department store would think I stole the toy . And whatever …. I wonder that why nobody bother to ask me why I am crying at the shopping department store. And The toy become a trademark of my dad abandon me to do his business and one friend joked , why didn’t u take something more expensive . It is only a small mickey mouse as above the picture.hahahahah.. I think back …
I guess in the midst of the beautiful colorful world , there are some kind true souls out there.


I am quite excited as I will be volunteering and I may be able to HELP PEOPLE and good Friday I will able to do my volunteer work for dogs.

As Louise Hay state .

SEND LOVE TO WHEEVER YOU ARE GOING , Whether you are going to work , send love ahead of you .
To the place , the building , to the equipment , to the people you work with and work for .

Let us declare that THIS IS A HEALTHY AND HARMOIOUS LOVING PROSPER CREATIVE DAY FOR YOU .IT WILL FILLED WTH JOY , YOU WILL WELCOME CHANGE AND ADVENTURE AND THEY WILL BRING NEW people AND NEW adventure . BLESS THEM WITH LOVE .The love you send to them will return to u multiply .
THIS IS NEW DAY AND THIS IS GOOD DAY ! THIS IS BEST DAY . THIS IS THE NEW BEGINNING . GO FORTH AND ENJOY ALL THAT IT BRINGS .

another encouragment from HELLO KITTY ... THANKS

Appreciate your sharing of your blog on your journey of depression. Good to know u r better now.

If I may share some of my stories on depression....I had a couple of "rough" years in my personal life. Till at one point of my life, I found myself waking up every morning feeling very really lousy, moody, sad & sometimes down right sick to the core consistently for no apparent reasons. My "Personal National Anthem" was like "Life really sucks, why am I still here? How long more do I still need to be here?"

I wasn't sure if that was what they would call "depression" and it seems to be affecting every aspects of my life. I found myself getting increasingly agitable, disconnected, down all the time and somewhat withdrawn! I do not want to admit it(Not told any of my friends either) but I got a little bit concern and started doing some research on it.

First I look up on the definition of depression and it seems that the symptoms presented fits pretty well. That really caught my attention! Then I look up on the cause & available treatment. Keyword is Seretonin or the lack of it. Treatment is primarily prescription of the anti depresant - a psychoactive drug.

Secondly, I also look for other conditions that may present with similar symptoms & I found this, "Dysthymic disorder". A sub set & milder form of depression.

Generally, whatever it is, treatment is generally through these psychoactive drugs which bascially treats symptoms not the cause and the downside had always being "Dependency" or addiction. I didn't like the idea one bit.

I researched further. I found that nutrition had huge impact on moods according to some of the reliable researches. I was initially very sceptical. For I'm no Vitamins Nerds and I'm too macho for that!! Haha!

I researched on, & found that most depressed people are deficient in Vit B6, B9 & B12; and one of the standard treatment in hospital ER's for suicide case is a jab of concentrated pyridoxine and/or cobalamin. The depressed patient usually starts smiling like in 30mins. This is the best part, these r NOT "Drugs" at all! They are just Vitamin B! Pyridoxine is B6 & Cobalamin is B12!

So, what I did next was to construct a list of food that r naturally rich in the content of these nutrients & eat MORE of it! And yes, I'm also started taking some Vit B supplements & Omega 3(But I'm still not a Vitamin nerd!!! Hehe).

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I had also made changes to my life by incorporating high intensity exercies to :
-raise testosterone level naturally(Low testosterone level r known to cause depression too)
-increase muscle mass to raise metabolism for moods improvement/management & to shed off those extra pounds

Once again, Im a happy kitty again!! Haha...


This is another friend who share the same problem and willingly to open up encourage me and didnt say ," She is fat ass ! " Or will u take a knife to kill me suddenly ?" No sacastic remarks and real honest and sincere friendship . I thank God for knowing this hello kitty .Hello Kitty is cool dude who did alot of things I wish I could do like suba diving . The sad part is I dun know how to swim , so goodbye to my padi license dream . But I am learning swimming through books..Kinda of stoopid ..But well ...let take a small step at time. I learnt that it is friend who give you a push are like flowers on beautiful moutain that make life easier to burn .

SO LET ME GIVE CHEERS TO HELLO KITTY .....

THANKS . I am glad that I found a friend in you .

DOWnward spirial in my run

Today I wrote to my coach to aplogise for playing MIA halfway throughout the race clinic. I am happy I got the contact and then email him .
I haven’t been running since 1st of april till now . I had run except for 2XS race and also this weekend the U350 race.
Today I had an encouragement from Chris . he suddenly remind me unintentionally that I had to run . SO today maybe after work . I should go for a jog 10km . WILL I?
CAN I ?
Lunctime maybe 20 mins.Okay …What do I do when I Hit a downward spiral in my run ?
Know more about my ran ...

SHOULD I PREPARE FOR U350 run
http://marathanforoldlady78.blogspot.com/

My Obession with Books

For the love of Books.
I used to love book when I
was young. My English wasn’t good and my dad forced me to read Enid Byton story book. You named it Famous five .My parents spent a lot of me to motivate me to read. I used to live in my fantasy world of Enid Byton of Gnomes and Pixies and that what trigger me to join brownie when I was in primary school. Then in order to feed more love of reading into me, my mum brought me to bedok library. At those times,I remembered those days I would be fighting for the Adventure of Tin Tin ,Asterix .The more reading type would be Nancy Drew and hardy boy’s mystery stories.So those would be the days where we fight for book in libary .

Well , I continued to go library when I was in my varsity. I would be borrowing technology book for doing my project . I love reading . I just love reading .

But Then I forgot about reading when I started working. I hardly read book.
But then recently a few years back,I was introduced back to my refuge. Yah READING IS CONSIDER a refuge for me when I was young gal. The little gal with spectacles and digging and making dog ears to famous Five storybook which my dad brought for my birthday and after reaidng , how I wish I be at some adventure island and the dog would always follow them. That caused me to have my little shih Tzu ,lucky. He is small version of Famous Five big dog .hahahhaa.But my lucky doesnt like adventure and he just laze around the house .

Yah, Suddenly I realised that whom had introduce me to this wonderful place of books.

Gill. She brought my 1st book, Boundaries for me.It was gift for me at the lowest period of my life. I still remembered the cat card she sent me. And I never forgot her for this whole life .She gave my first book and reminds me of my first love .BOOKS.

I started reading her book. I found it was very good. Even Rev Timothy used that book to coach and advice me. And then she continues to give me books. She brought me a lot of book, even when I am in Singapore, she never fail to send book to read.She never fail to send a well wishes card to me .

She brought me alot of good books, I think all of them are really good book and I called them treasure. She send me a few good books on how to lead a Christian life in this messy world. But I confessed I had a very bad habit of reading the few chapter of books and then I end up getting to start a new one. Sometimes I go library and borrowed some ,so then I would then divert my attention to my library books as they need to completed and returned back to library before datedue . Yah I must remember to send the book exchange project by the library . I had a few GMAT BOOKS to donate to them . Anyway , back to my bad habit,So forever I am like…..whatever…Anyway I appreciate her for beening there for me and bringing me back to the world of book. Gill .She was a kind beautiful lady who always tells me to stop crying and let read a book. She is my only best friend, best sister in Christ, good encourager and she would encourage and advise me in many area of my life. I am blessed because of her.Can I say God love me and send her to me?
Even now we are distance apart , she never fail to keep up with me .

So I started to find my 1st love again. You can name the entire bookstore in Singapore. I became a members of them . I would spend my free time in Kink Bookstore, MPH, and border. I would be in the self help session, and flipping the best seller .So well,if you need to get books, you know I can help you to get them at member price.But why buy it , borrow them.But some book i prefer to be kept in my treasure shelves at my bedside cupboard.

And mostly after reading the book at bookshop or library , I ended up a few hours; I decided I MUST GET the book. I love reading again. I find it is place where I read other views and also it would bring my mind off for a while. Suddenly I feel alive again and not into my so gloomy world. And Opentrolley bookstore is a good online web bookshop too. You can order cheap and wide varieties of books. Io go that website to get books.Should I get the 4 hour workweek from there later.

So basically you would know also. I didn’t miss out MPH warehouse sales lately at expo .This time I purchased over 30 books. Yah if you see a fat lady carrying one box taking the train, you know that me. I am crazy over books. I brought different category , Self Help , Dogs care , and many others. I feel happy that I got those book at cheaper warehouse sales.

Part of the MPH warehouse book , One of books I brought was Financial IQ and Henry Cloud , God in your career, how to turn your dog into a university graduate , And also brought one book by Dalai lama , the art of happiness . I felt so proud able to buy these books. But I do agreed, I had this bad habit of reading the first few pages and then I would forget about them and get new books. Oh No!

My parents don’t know how come I become craze over my books.

To avoid spending too much on books, I tried by divulging my attention to library. So you named it I would spend my weekend at the heartland mall library. And I spend hours just to find treasure in those treasure shelves. But it become a bad habit wanting to make the book into the book of mine after borrowing the stories book.That means I go to opentrolley and purchase the book .

Anyway , recently I borrowed this book called the 4 hour work week by Timothy Ferris. I think I going to buy this book .But my dad remind me not to spend excessively on books. Yoda, you asked me to print them. And I am like…getting into trouble because of that Maybe you could take it and photocopy for me.hahahaahahahaha.

Anyway my wish list is this new book. I am stopping myself from buying it .And I wish I get kindle machine so that I can read book online .Yah Kindle Lite is one of my wants too.

OH NO!!! I am obsessed with Book .But Book is still a good obsessive isn’t it? Don’t know where to find me, I be at library or bookstore.

What I learnt about myself and even my best sister thought that

Got the photo of you and Shirleen, it's a great shot of the both of you! You are looking really well and I don't think you are looking 'fat' at all! You look perfectly normal - so stop worrying! Better to be healthy with a few extra kilos than skinny and sick!


An encouragement of Gill . Yah I eamil the photo to her ,my best friend, advisor and best sister .

Hahahaha..She was right overall. I am too senstive.

I am worth loving. I do not have to earn love. I am lovable because I exist. Others reflect the love I have for myself.

I am fan of Louise Hay . I love reading her books and listen to her audiobook.
I think it is helpful .


TODAY QUOTE To remember :
I am worth loving. I do not have to earn love. I am lovable because I exist. Others reflect the love I have for myself.
1. Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.

2. If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.

3. In my life there is an infinite supply of love, it is inexhaustible, i can never use it all in this lifetime so I don’t have to be sparing with it!

4. Deep at the center of my being is an infinite well of love.

5. I am worth loving. I do not have to earn love. I am lovable because I exist. Others reflect the love I have for myself.

6. I release all criticism. I only give out that which I wish to receive in return. My love and acceptance of others is mirrored to me in every moment.

7. If I want to be loved as I am, then I need to be willing to love others as they are.

8. I am worthy of a healthy, intimate relationship with a like-minded person. I trust the Universe to know when to bring us together.

Sometimes when the Pc just dont work

LAtely I am BIT sensitive.
I was asked for my photo so I email one my photo .Then I didnt get any response .Thus i thought oh Good . Maybe This friend depise me , found me ugly and fat .Sorry friend for misunderstanding you and I appreciate that You took the effort to ask me why there is no mails. Thanks ....

U make me realised that there are really times I felt oversentive over everything .


But Today I realised it actually the doing of the mail server ,that my email had been blocked . I only realised that when the kind person took the effort to ask me why I didnt email back .

I realised .Oh .. it was what Gill said . my email get block most of time by her company email too .
I realised in my life there are alot of times .
I allow my senstive mind to eat myself up .

For eg someone happen to be engross in thier thought and I would say Hi . And the person didnt reply back . I would conclude ,great , She dislike me .She is so unfriendly .Yesterday i used the printer and she is upset over that .

Then after a few day , the person happen to call you and then you realised she over overwhelmed by personal family problem .

i realised ..Oh ........everybody had a small part of oversenstive and depression in them . Because I also encounter people who misinterpt me when I left my msn online for 24 .And sometimes if the power trip , I wouldnt see the message left by that friend. And till a few days later , I msn him to ask about work . He said," I thought U didnt want to talk to me anymore . " I explained to him that I leave my msn on and sometimes my notebook run out of Battery and I dun get to see the message .
And he happily,"Oh . I nearly thought you ignoring me . " And it happen 3 times.


Hahahaha..Life is very funny ... I hope people who read my blog would understand if I dont reply , It doesnt meant that I am rude or some snobbish brat . I am like you . Just plain simple jane .

But I also met one who misunderstand so much . He took my non reply very badly and then second day insulted me . Say i feel sorry for you . U are rude blah blah and alot of sacastic remarks. I decided not to continue to listen to that fellow abusive languages and it is just too bad that he refuse to listen to explanation and too bad that we cant be friends.

So I thank All those who persist and took the effort to move my friendship with you .
I am blessed because of you . And towards all who suffer same as me.. hope we will remember not our brain tell us and jump to conclusion so easily .

How we look at the glass.,..Thanks for the encouragement

we are the one who make our life, look nice or bad
and some time it is depond on how we look at it
if u look at one glass of water from top it is circle
but from side it is glass of water
it is the same thing
:)

Well it is not easy to keep looking up .But you had just to not focus on the negative things..
Thanks for all the encouragements

I am happy that someone always make my day .

Lately I had been giggling alot . Infront of my Notebook and my parents had to yell at me for my behaviour . I meet a wonderful friend , I should say . I like his honesty . I am blessed to have good friends. At first I was worried about Scammers or someone would hurt me.

but then .. i guess I get to know different people and learn thing which i am fearful of .

I used to fearful of Video cam .

I used to fearful of sending my ugly photo to others.


I used to ....

Thanks God for all good friends.
I AM surrounded by love. All is well. I NOW deserve love, romance and joy – and all the good that life has to offer me

Adapated from yahoo website

http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/How-to-Work-When-Your-usnews-25203257.html?x=0

Interesting Article


1. If you trust your supervisor, tell them what's going on. Be aware of your company's Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) policy before you do this, as unpaid leave may not be a viable option for you. Bosses may be more understanding than they're given credit for, and proper work-life balance is an asset to both you and the organization.

But revealing a personal problem to your boss can have unintended consequences. Though against the law, your issue could hold you back from future advancement. On the flip side, telling your boss could build your trust quotient, raising your stock as an employee. The bottom line here is to know your boss well before spilling the beans.

2. Find out if working from home is a temporary option. Simply eliminating the commute and amount of interaction you have with work colleagues can help provide stress relief, allowing you to better cope with a difficult situation. This flexibility can help you keep the tears at home while keeping busy.

3. Set aside a pre-determined time to think about your personal problem. Sounds sick, right? But scheduling a time to be sad, mad, or frustrated can help you better handle the other parts of your day. When you feel emotion taking over outside of the scheduled time, stop the thought in its tracks and save it for its allotted time. Akin to building a wall between your life and your job, this tactic prevents leakage that can make both parts of your world worse.

4. Commit to not discussing the problem at work. Even if your co-workers are your friends, explain to them that you do not wish to talk about the sensitive subject matter at work. Tell them that you appreciate their understanding and that you are willing to talk outside of work (if you are interested in additional support).

. Use a few vacation days. You'd rather be in Bermuda, but sometimes you need to take time for yourself. Don't be stingy with your time off. If you need a few days away from the office to deal with tough times, tap into your vacay stash. Just don't stay away too long or returning can be that much more difficult.

6. Throw yourself into work. Starting a new project might be too ambitious during a personal crisis, but taking care of maintenance or housekeeping items that are often overlooked can be great distraction. Clean out that inbox, reorganize your desk drawers or start a new filing system. These mind-numbing tasks could be just what the doctor ordered to get your thoughts away from the heavy issue.

7. Be vague. Just because you decide to tell your boss or tip off a few co-workers that something is going on in your personal life does not mean you have to reveal the details. People are generally smart. For the most part, they will read between the lines and not press you for more information.

8. Keep it neutral. Don't be too happy or too sullen. Keeping up a charade is stressful, so do your best to stay balanced at work at all times. If a personal crisis does arise, this will help you better conceal it if that's your choice. Being honest at work, and in life, is usually the easiest approach. But it is important to view the situation from all angles, as once the proverbial cat is out of the bag, it's there to stay. Make a daily effort to keep your mood and emotions balanced and the hard times might not be as hard.

[See People Who Will Help You See Career Success.]

9. As a co-worker, do not comment on other people's attendance. Co-workers are always quick to drop silly comments. "Banker's hours must be nice!" or "You look tired." What they don't realize is that you might be out of the office for something that is not fun. In fact, for once in your life, you'd rather be at the office. Resist the urge to drop a bomb on these people by telling them what's up. It might be satisfying for a second, but in reality, it's not nice. Let these comments bounce off of you and pay it forward by never commenting on anyone else.

Work can be the ultimate getaway from your personal life. It's not fun to think about, but if you go through a difficult time in your personal life, work can be a blessing in disguise.

What Depression teaches one person

Depression is something that suppose to keep it private for yourself . So that you wont focus on your depression . I like what is been said .

Why should u tell people u are depressed . It only give them reason to mock you if that person is not a good calibre .


But Depression had taught me alot of things.
It Taught me who is your true friends who are the foes.
Those who stay during your depression is your true friend .

Sabba thankful for his friendship .But sometimes people think it is all in your brain .
Yes Indeed .
Gillian become my good friend who she never give up on me .
And the people here , They didnt see my weight gain to be something of a joke .
But I face the cruelity of humanity where there are some sacastic remarks made . For one forgotten , one would have children and they never know what retribution one would bring to one hosehold. if one came to believe in karma and one destiny . If not, one who believe in christianity would certainly face God judgement.

That was something I learn .So I learn not to look at people differently and aim to have mother thresa life . Love all.
Gandi and many others.


And It brought me close to relglion . Why does God allow pain in my life ?
Buddism ? Karma .and many others...It taught me how the family would be closer and how much one person actually care for you .
It taught me who are the people who believe in justice and karma and feel empathy for you ....It taught me too much

This is a blessings I had .
Thank God for you all and all my friends who had been loving me and my family .

advantages of technology seem to be a disadvantages

The advantages and disadvantages of technology
I abit discouraged lately . Suddenly I hit the high and suddenly low . And I start to imagine a lot and think people will always go for look . I had no looks or anything so ..maybe afterall it is blessing disguise to be alone . To have no trouble ,live a simple life .Yoda was telling me , when you say no , the person just get very keen to make u say yes. After yes, that the end of it . I think after all , it is blessing if the person prove oneself not worthy . And I just let go . I am told not to dicuss about personal matter on blog because there is no privacy and no protection. Drawing boundaries is very important in one life.
You never know this blog may lay hands of wicked person and used it to one advantages. So isn’t it pitiful if you are important person whatever you blog or say can be use against you . Actually I realized technology had its disadvantages and advantages. I stated what if I change all the names. you know sometimes some people would just imagine alot and figure this and that or get oversenstive when u are not saying them ,but they imagine it was them you are talking about . So it is better not to have a blog . So Should I end this blog ???
But I look forward to find true friend to encourage me in life. I think having what I had now is a blessing if one had to say that it is better not to know for too much .

The Joy of Living

I think I am not beautiful . But someone say it is all in the brain . I appreciate what been said . Another friend , common I am not a person who is so swallow , it is who inside that counts . Maybe afterall this is a beautiful world . When I open my email , I had a surprise picture of leo. I feel he look more like a gaming guy , a person who love to play games(Video games) . Anyway I thank Him .
But I am happy when I can do little to bring happiness to others. The joy of living , is seeing people appreciating you .
Today is my sister’s birthday . I wanted to give her a little surprise . Actually I thought of sending via delievery company .But then I thought it wasn’t as meaningful for me to get special for her. Well , Shirleen. She is like a little sister to me who always encourage me whenever I hit my lowest period . I would sms her and share my woe with her. I remember once I cried and I sms her . It was her holiday that day . she took the time to comfort me .
I always thought after I left there, wouldn’t find a sister after Sandra .I am glad I found new sister here. Rena lend me her SAFRA card.
I used the card and brought the special marathon socks for my marathon this Sunday .
I wanted to get the metabolism nutrition pack , so today I took a taxi to Marine parade just to buy that product and the personnel doesn’t give me one nutrition pack . I thinking leaving the product here because my mum would scold me if she see a lot of craps at my home .
I brought Fancl slim product yesterday . I find them useful.
So next month I better keep to my budget .I am so happy today . My mum always yelled at me lately and get alittle worried about me . I had a cup of coffee and I having caffeine poisoning now
“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives

LOVING TREATMENT

Deep at the centre of my being there is an infinite well of love.
I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give, the supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy.
Yes, I love myself, therefore I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing food and beverages.
I lovingly groom it and dress it and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.
I love myself, therefore I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.
I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.
I love myself, therefore I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses all my talents and abilities, working with and for people that I love and love me, and earning a good income.
I love myself, therefore, I behave in a loving way to all people for I know that that which I give out returns to me multiplied.
I only attract loving people in my world for they are a mirror of what I am.
I love myself, therefore I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences and I am free.
I love myself, therefore I love totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright, and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more.
And so it is.

Louise L. Hay

LAtely I brought My dog for grooming .

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修持孔雀明王法的功德

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Joy of been me

So .. he was afraid of Scammers and I am afraid of Scammer and He is afraid of wasting time . I am more afraid of been cheated.
Okay . I think It is better To be me for a while.

Live my life simply and then go exercise ,come home and sleep . Be a single lady and enjoy the benefit of singlehood isnt it ?

I went to boxexercise and it was a short 1 hour and it was simple and fun . I feel i am the fatest lady there. but well , what to do .

Blessed am I indeed . Thank God

Well I think as he was right. Good things are coming to me.
I did a few crazy things .But I was happy that a few replied me .Yah I hope we can take our friendship forward. Well, I am unconfident, thinking maybe he is too good. I like his photo. 4 to 8 year older than me ,good education , and prefect for me ., give me a sense of security just by looking at his photo .I am so happy and excited on received his email . But then I worried. What if, I am not enough? What If I am not pretty enough? What if …oh ….Me…always don’t allow new experiences and new people in my life.
Wishing God would bless me in this new found friend of mine. And it would flourish .e
Well, currently I feel guilty because Sxxxx was ill. I felt bad towards him because I had said some nasty words to him and he said he miss me. But , honestly I get swept off by his chasing .And he would always wanted to meet up with me .But recently , I had been busy and he sums me asked that I am not interested in him. Honestly, I had hindrance in my heart. Age was something I fear. I couldn’t feel secured being with him. I just think he is too young to understand love and I feel maybe he is just having a crush over me just like henry that was very keen towards me. But when he saw I am fatter, he starts to despise me. But Sxxx know me when I am fat , So maybe after all he didn’t mind me at all and love me for who I am . But no matter how I could feel that he is like my little brother and he would sms sweet words to me every day, but I scolded him. I felt bad scolding him as I want to retain as friends.

I managed to register for Iris Aerobic classes. I am so happy. I tried for the past weekend and I yelled at my dad, because I thought I thought it was his fault. And then I called up the transaction company, and she explained to me that on weekend, the traffic is busy thus the transaction wasn’t successful.
Okay, I think I owe my dad apologies, I did tell my mum.
To be honest, I think I had loving parents who support me and accept me for all my craps. I deduce my SSRI and I become cranky. Cranky in terms when I go for race clinic, because of my slowness and size, I felt left out. Even when I asked my boss for permission to do things, he agreed and I don’t know why I imagine so much of negativity coming. I think as someone tell me , her daughter meet a molester and she has phobia about it and she is on medicine and also till 10 year later, she refused to be touch by her bf . I guess we are after all human. Sometimes the past does give a lot of bad effects on us. I don’t know when I can let go of my past .but I must get on, because wonderful people are coming into my life.
I wish you would give your msn, and I get to talk to you more often and I am happy because you are my dream guy. 4 to 8 year older than me , wear spectacles ( I don’t know why when I was little gal , I draw Daddy with spectacles, although my dad doesn’t wear spectacles. My mum joked I wanted a spectacles hubby) and then is caring, warm and secured feeling which I am excited when I look at his photo …….
It is a start of wonderful relationship ……. I going to be in love .Although me never believe love in first sight. I don’t know why …I felt a feeling of joy looking at his photo.