Where had I been GONE? RUN AWAY

Friend , dont ask me why I dont bother to reply any emails , anything . I am kinda of moody ..Sick ...Physically , See the doctor , prescribed me antibodic .


Lately I am indulging in good mood unhealthy food . I had just taken pop corns from famous shop where I collect my night energized stuff on saturday , and sunday I had a packet of Kettle . And....I dont want to talk about how my life ,how I feel , what I am thinking . I just want to shut down . Is that possible? Suddenly I find everything seem to be more superificial for me.

This morning , I started with a pack of KETTLECHIPS( cheddar cheese flavor) I must had it because I had a strong urge of desire of saltiest in my diet . I also start with Lattee from the 5 foot store at Teck Point Ang Mo kio . It doesn’t taste as nice as starbucks or coffee bean ,but it taste better than the Nescafe I had.
Lately I am in dilmena . I beginning to worry about myself .
I don’t want to have any expectation in anything . I start to want to run away . Run away to where I don’t know . Just run away . I don’t want to sink deeper in the spirial of hopefulness and then it goes crashing down it will drive me more in maniac depression.
As one say , once there is no hope ,then there is no disappointment . No expectation , no disappointment.
Something is wrong . what is wrong ? I don’t know .
I just want to be alone .
I have always been moody. When I was just a little child, as early as I can remember, I have wanted to be alone. I detest crowds, don’t like many people. I used to crawl into a corner and sit and think, think things over
"I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be let alone
爱情啊，它是个懒东西。
　　你不去理它，它也不会来招惹你。
　　你若太在乎它了，它就反咬一口，让你痛不欲生。
爱情很懒，但是很美。

Adapted from http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewPoetry.asp?id=185738


I want to run away,



Just be gone – check out



I long to hide away



And bury my head in my hands



To just cry until I am all cried out



Done - no tears left



Cry till all the sad is gone







I wish for long, long hours to sleep



To rise only to return and slip back



between sheets that never cooled



I desire the sleep of no interruption



Till all the exhaustion has lifted



From my heavily laden eyes







But… none of this will I do



I will get up each day the crack of dawn



I will continue the endless motions



That make this life of mine work



Putting one foot in front of the other



Over and over again