Blessed am I indeed . Thank God

Well I think as he was right. Good things are coming to me.
I did a few crazy things .But I was happy that a few replied me .Yah I hope we can take our friendship forward. Well, I am unconfident, thinking maybe he is too good. I like his photo. 4 to 8 year older than me ,good education , and prefect for me ., give me a sense of security just by looking at his photo .I am so happy and excited on received his email . But then I worried. What if, I am not enough? What If I am not pretty enough? What if …oh ….Me…always don’t allow new experiences and new people in my life.
Wishing God would bless me in this new found friend of mine. And it would flourish .e
Well, currently I feel guilty because Sxxxx was ill. I felt bad towards him because I had said some nasty words to him and he said he miss me. But , honestly I get swept off by his chasing .And he would always wanted to meet up with me .But recently , I had been busy and he sums me asked that I am not interested in him. Honestly, I had hindrance in my heart. Age was something I fear. I couldn’t feel secured being with him. I just think he is too young to understand love and I feel maybe he is just having a crush over me just like henry that was very keen towards me. But when he saw I am fatter, he starts to despise me. But Sxxx know me when I am fat , So maybe after all he didn’t mind me at all and love me for who I am . But no matter how I could feel that he is like my little brother and he would sms sweet words to me every day, but I scolded him. I felt bad scolding him as I want to retain as friends.

I managed to register for Iris Aerobic classes. I am so happy. I tried for the past weekend and I yelled at my dad, because I thought I thought it was his fault. And then I called up the transaction company, and she explained to me that on weekend, the traffic is busy thus the transaction wasn’t successful.
Okay, I think I owe my dad apologies, I did tell my mum.
To be honest, I think I had loving parents who support me and accept me for all my craps. I deduce my SSRI and I become cranky. Cranky in terms when I go for race clinic, because of my slowness and size, I felt left out. Even when I asked my boss for permission to do things, he agreed and I don’t know why I imagine so much of negativity coming. I think as someone tell me , her daughter meet a molester and she has phobia about it and she is on medicine and also till 10 year later, she refused to be touch by her bf . I guess we are after all human. Sometimes the past does give a lot of bad effects on us. I don’t know when I can let go of my past .but I must get on, because wonderful people are coming into my life.
I wish you would give your msn, and I get to talk to you more often and I am happy because you are my dream guy. 4 to 8 year older than me , wear spectacles ( I don’t know why when I was little gal , I draw Daddy with spectacles, although my dad doesn’t wear spectacles. My mum joked I wanted a spectacles hubby) and then is caring, warm and secured feeling which I am excited when I look at his photo …….
It is a start of wonderful relationship ……. I going to be in love .Although me never believe love in first sight. I don’t know why …I felt a feeling of joy looking at his photo.