Here with me-No u all upthere...

I think I would be running with THIS SONg ...Here with me...
I imagine myself holding a heavy burden and then running uphill with my heavy notebook bag which I hold during i flown back from Melbourne to Singapore.
And then I keep trying to run uphill because .....it was needed for me. Mr Soh and the rest are upstairs with me . He did tell me to stop running and start resting.
My heart must been heavy .Although everything had been taken down .The pain is still there. The insultive and evil cuts they had make through me. Making me low inferior and feel fat now. I make myself a fat ass . I confess .But if for thier evil and crazy way, alot of things happen .And I shouldnt blame them .Because I allow them to torn me up.

I wanted to call Eric Chong and liphong. Thank God .that Urge was killed by the desire of other things. I cant hide...I cannot breathe...Until I keep running ..runnning with my heavy army style shoulder bag ...carry backpack. I dont know why I keep torturing myself....
I cant hide....
I wont sleep ...
I cant breathe......
Until ..My battle is over...
I cant hide... I cannot be....
Until I am resting finally together with grandmum.
Grandmum Wong swee jee..I miss u at times...
How are u upstairs?
Is everything Good?
Good news...something Good happen...although my life suz at times..How do u keep your faith WitH JESUS when everything went wrong in your life"?

my uncle was gambling away your life..
your house..everything...
How could u still sit there and run...
Now Grandmum..I cant run ..I just feel SHIT by little life pokes at me.
I thinking of beening with you . Yet Jesus said this and that....
It is a sign of tiridness..
U know dad and mum is tired of me...
Dad sent me to work daily .
Grandfather u up there too.. I never told much . I just remember during chinese new year . You had helped me to adjust my messy clothing...
Chan Kuang lee Ah gong.. U know me since day 1...I always been like tat .
Filmsy and messy ..And dripping down my nose running ...

I feel tired running this uphill.......And I think like this song ..DIDO .....Here with me...I am what I am... I do what I want ...
I cant hide....
I wont go ...
I wont sleep ...
I cant breathe....until ... I am resting together with you all someday.
I try not to let the black dog bite me. It is not easy .
Dad , your son ...always ferry me to work everyday ...and he sometimes ferry grandmum and my uncle too.So dont worry . Everything okay except that we are always poor . Because I spend money due to OCB ...and my depression .
It kill me mentally....maybe it run in the blood..
But Prozac had kill the creativity of Mozart and Van Gogn Vinc .He was the one draw starry starry night... I guess because it run in our family blood. I may be someone special with creativity like you Grandpa ...U played music..Dad said that . I may be creativity and talented like you . Having that kind of loyalty and friendship which means alot to us...

And wong swee jee ..It is like how u love your children.. And how mummy love me right now . I trying hard to live ..Live to keep myself mentally stable......I can't be ... I won't go .. I wont sleep...until..God call onto me... But at least u could tell people out there to stop attacking us. Wong swee jee grandmum , i realised how hard u had been trying so hard to accept u had a mentally instable children ...and then U struggled.....


Chang Kuang lee, U should be proud of me. Geraldine Chan . My dad chan cheow boo had graduated ..and so did me...........But I had been mowhere here in my job . It is tough struggle .Just like my dad..he is doing the same job as you . I thought maybe ...maybe I should follow the root . be a taxi driver..Is he happy?
maybe he is...whatever..although we are living luxary ...


but ..... I didnt hear u all leave..u all just leave........


Just like this song .. I carrying a heavy bag of shoulderbackpack and run ....run...uphill..HOPING........hOPING...

Thank You for bringing our parents to this world......

Dido