The fact that It just make u drowsy ,heart rate irregular ..numb the pain for a while

I guess i m alcoholic.i saw the sms.i dun understand y one be bias to me,and to 6ther.,i also dun understd y i m like a trash unwanted used.tat evil man finally got babies.but i m now the eat ugly lady who the security guard,u got baby.everyday takin all kinds of medicine n supplement hopin it will heal me,like prayin to jesus.then he didnt answer.but ask to learn the trade of buhhbda.forgivesness.in repay of my kindress,i m return with sikence quiet pain.evry min,i slip.evry min i write.i tryin n hoping i get t.he state of i nolonger geraldine chan workin in st.my parent n sumetime maybe nobody understd me.charles seet disappear.bee choo disappear.i used think abot wat if.wat if.i no longer can go to past,neither in front,as i yet to accept the current me like my dad or mum does.