It will just appear when u learst expect it

I thought David would called me .but He didnt . So i was abit discouraged. Part of me thinking of calling him .But I think It is better to clear myself from married men .
But I become abit sadden by the sudden high and low when David didnt call at all.
maybe afterall , The soulmate book by Ariellette stated that sometimes it will appear when you least expect it.

Today is the day I can blog here

LatelY I think I am in a roller coaster.
Today It is the only day I can blog here.....
Had been busy about Job ..And going into GARbage eating ...
eating Old Chang Chee Chicken wings ..and tibits . I dont know why I just love salty food.

prince charming coming to me SOON !

I begining to Believe Good things are flowing to me .
I will be meeting my prince charming soon .
I met someone who is what I wish .
Someone who I wouldnt feel unwelcome. but of coz time is essential in everything .Today I meet Gui ren who taught alot of things about myself .
lately I am indulging in Potato Chips , chicken wing and funny food .
And I was told I could take chicken wings , Lambs chops that will help me .
Hahahha..friend spicy food.
And Sleep on red mattress instead of pinky mattress.
Whatever...good things are FOLLOWING TO MY LIFE

A HEART WARMING MOVIE FRONT IN CLASS MUST WATCH ....

A Good show that MOtivate me alot is ...

Front IN CLass.
It talked about a person having an illness
(mental kind inhertiance)
Embrassment and how his father didnt able
to accept his illness .Something in life
cannot be fixed .it is sometimes accepting
faint.

His determination to be a teacher impressed me.
He never allow the illness to get him down .
They see the world I will not I cant .

How much had I seen beyond my adversity and
have a ever use determination to overcome .

Maybe oneday I can say what can I learn from my depression?
My constant companion My depression .
He is a great teacher.
What can U learn from this disabilities

You learn to keep going.
You learn not to let it stop you .
You learn NOT TO let it win .

coping with depression will give me a value lesson that anyone can ever learn
To NEVER NOT LET ANYTHING STOP YOU FROM CHASING YOUR DREAM .FROM WORKING,OR PLAYING
OR FALLING IN LOVE

Dark Dog Bite at me again

Suffering depressed is not easy .

And People beside u to understand what u going through is worst .

Some people think it is all in your brain .

Well I think if ONLY they had been you .

THEY BEEN through the SHIT you had been .
MAYBE then they would say whether if they can talk so easily.

I wrote an email to my loved one to share my fears.
This afternoon I had an event which trigger my sudical depression attempt .

But the implusive of buying a 5 finger brought me now where I am now .
Chitting with my loved one.

xxxxx say
u have to help yourself...
no one can help u
this is your own life
its very hard for ppl to help u
thus... u need to help yourself
this is reality
like i say....
u r u
I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF JUZ NOW says:
yah
xcxxx says:
they r not u
as long u feel its time to do it
just do it

Some words to HELP myself through this castrophic

I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF JUZ NOW said:
thas
xxxxx said:
other may not always agreed w u
I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF JUZ NOW said:
thx u are right
xxxxxxsaid:
if they agreed w u... its a gift
if they dun, its ok...
if other opportiunities... can run le
I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF JUZ NOW said:
thx
but will I be shit as he say ?
I will be shit in any other company/'

xxxx says:
u r when u think u r
u r not when u dun think u r
its all about u
shit ppl will never call themselves shit
they will always call other ppl shit

Brought A new Herbal Black Cohash

http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/blackcohosh#h6


Who should not take black cohosh?

Ipad = a reading device ..A Kindle will also do much for me. I LOVE READINg

I looking for some kind of dream .Whether it am a dream man to come into my life, whether it is my dream job or whatever.
Today, I planning for a swim during lunchtime I hope the rain would stop and I would make in time .And although I don’t know how to swim, I am learning through books.
There are a few good movies I watch like the King Speech and another I couldn’t remember the title.
The King speech is motivating. It stated in life there is nothing that hinders you in front. I think it earn few nominates is well earned.
I flush some extra expenses like Star hub TV entertainment. I felt it is quite expensive to be charge 40 dollar every month.
But I had a new like. That is getting an iPod or Kindle. I love to get one of this. I check online there wasn’t any shipment to Singapore .then suddenly I wish, I had an oversea friend like my manager she had her friend to get for her from US. I envy her. NO . I SHALL NOT SPEND UNESSCARY ON MY WANTS .
I also remind myself about what Yoda say SOMEONE RIGHT WILL APPEAR . JUST HANG ON .Yah …And KEEP MY PROMISE TO LET GO .
Okay now time to pack my bag and go for a dip. To relax and rejenvunote. It is a GOOD DAY HEAD INDEED.

Kindle desire is in my wish list

THANKS for the advice For mars and VENUS .THANKS YODA

Good friends are hard to find .
TODAY I realized my BUDDY J was supportive of me . At times, a good friends encouragements and concern words would bring healing to a lost despair soul. I would always seek wise consel of true friends.
I thought knowing S was super .He should be nice , gentleman , kind as different ethic from me. FINALLY ,Today he show his true colors. I just asked his age and HE SMS BACK ARE U CRAZY ?

Yah .RAJ asked me ," How cum he sms u such thing.

" If he was really a man , he wouldn’t beat around the bush when he was asked this question. One moment he was some other age ,another moment . What is he up to?"

Anyway , I finally decided I NEED TO GET SOME KIND WISE WORDS into my brain instead of daydreaming of beening princess in TAYLOR SWIFT LOVE STORY .

THE WISE FORCE GROW ......

YODA PROMPT ME ...“U need to grow your circle of friends .Then U will not be alone. I think this guy would be your nightmare if you take him.

"Just STOP REPLY AND TAKE HIS CALL . U TAKE HIS CALLS MEANS U STILL LIKE HIM ."

"OK DON’T WORRY . SOMEONE WILL APPEAR ONEDAY .NO Pt hold on something which cannot give you happiness . Let go and set yourself free from trouble."
These are wise words from Yoda.

And also some shared,Sxxxxx said ,"Hello , why he is upset of showing his photo?” bTW , we happen to peep into your PC . He shouldn’t blame you .And if he is so personal , either he felt you are a fun thing to toy him , after the fun , he would jilted you .After all , there are so many young good looking gals out on the street , why you ? Because you are simple and naïve . So wake up . don’t go around in the bush .”

Havent we Told you , if he is really a man , he wouldn’t asked such insensitive words saying are u crazy ,after all he know you are suffering from depression . and he should question his behavior. I didnt know "why should a man keep his age a secret? Is him worst than us ladies? Comon , get a life ."


Funny . He cliam he is in a meeting . And what?about you ? He constantly sms you . We saw your hp keep shaking . PLS ....And what more , you said your grandmum was upset by his calls. And what ...He call you at odd hours and sms you and expect you to be there for him . He is just a young boy who want you to shower him with motherly love .I doubt he know how to love . I doubt that . let him free, let him go and see the true world out there. Nobody be as dumb as you ."
And he said all his friends are married..SO he just find you fun to play with .SO ...PLS PLS PLS ...wake UP ..GET OUT WHILE YOU cAn . we cant bear to see u broken apart by him .He wouldnt make a good bf at all.LET the younger gals make a fool out of him and he get burnt."

I think the remarks are too many ..Yah ...maybe afterall , You are not suited in that kind of relationship with him . If he couldnt be friends .then dont call or entertain him .He wouldnt be thankful for what he had. comon .Let go ,open up your circle...blah blah blah .you know a guy must be at least mature enough blah blah blah ...True love can withstand everything .This fellow definely fail .Dont be sad over his remarks. ...
OKAY …Thanks friends . I would remember all the kinds encouragements from your heart and ….THANKS FOR BEEN THERE.

是时候..维鳞..是时候该转身就走

:是时候]
:孙燕姿]
作词:钟□依
作曲:饶善强
歌:孙燕姿
害怕看见 你骤变的脸
也不想理解失温的语言
是时候该转身就走

从此放弃我们渴望的永久
不想承认你还出现梦中
温暖安慰我

即使一秒钟也难承受
我多恨自己轻易地放开手
以为能承受还能从容不迫
坚强不是我想要的解脱
假装能好好过

害怕察觉你分心的眼
不想再争辩你说的谎言
是时候就放手谁能够
我多恨自己就这样让你走
以为很洒脱以为这是温柔
却忘了你和我一样的脆弱
一样的难过
多希望自己就这样松开手
一切很洒脱好好看着你走
坚强该是我给你的自由
还能做什_

我老是告诉是时候该转身，我就走多希望自己就这样松开手！我能的。我打算这样
放松。
我也不想理解失温的语言，为何你这样，那样，我想太多。有点忧虑。你为何在网
上
我害怕看见 你骤变的脸，猜测你是否是谎言。。。你为何又SMS 我。
这样我即使一秒钟也难承受。。。。以为我能承受还能从容不迫，坚强不是我，我
想要的解脱。。假装能好好过。。
我一切很洒脱好好看着你走 。我以老很洒脱以为这是温柔

坚强该是我给你的自由。是时候就放手谁能够
从此放弃我们渴望的永久。。。多希望自己就这样松开手。。。一切很洒脱好好看
着你走。。。坚强该是我给你的自由。。还能做什么。我一定会很洒脱好好看着你
走，放开手。。。。

No More hopless Expecttation of FOOLS

I started to think more clearly .
I think it is good that I break clear of such men .
I decided .The best is let is go and I will be relationship free.
I think relationship give me the high but it also give me the low and pain and tears.
Yesterday i cried. My dad was right . Maybe I feel wow , You oveewhelmed with sweet
words and then suddenly u just feel I am not right and
I decided to make up my mind to cut off these unhealthy relationship
because I deserved a better relationship and better man.
We havent started so there is nothing .Except that scourge was fast to
accept my gift of less than 10 dollar , pathetic .
So I will ignore them both of them and get myself a better life I deserved.
No relationship no hopless execptation and no disappointment . Isnt it happy .
I realised I didnt like him as much too as the way he cliamed he like me was
just merely sweet talking.He never call so I dont have to wait for him .
I will think about how to earn money , run faster , and learn to swim.

Quotes of letting Go

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love? - Leo Buscaglia

Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go. - Kate Winslet.

There’s no need to miss someone from your past. There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future. - Anonymous.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. - Anonymous.

True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you

anaylsis 1 from a game

Professional
Though not especially strong, you will be able to feel the influence of this aspect under many circumstances.
When reading the following text, please bear in mind that you will for the most part experience only the positive effects of this aspect. You are particularly stimulated to learn and communicate, as regards the matters concerned.

You are a hard-working and ambitious person with a strong drive to prove yourself in society. There may however be difficulties with authorities, despite your desire to live up to the expectations of society. The first 30 years of your life will bring a great deal of obstacles to success, but you will learn important lessons and ultimately develop a self-sufficiency and discipline which lays the foundation for success later in life. It is important for you to overcome negativity or pessimism concerning the future. Not all success is won by hard work alone. You are often more motivated by the fear of failure than the promise of reward, and this can hold you back from realising your full potential. If all goes well you will acquire more and more responsibility during the course of your life - and you deserve it. You are conscientious and take your responsibilities seriously. You are the kind of person other people can rely on. You would rather be the power behind the throne, than have a high profile yourself. Remember to take time to enjoy the fruits of your efforts, instead of continuously driving yourself onwards.

– Dedicated to U ,Subba Aka Superman - Start of beautiful friendship

Today I had a wonderful day of my life. It was supposed to be bad .But then Superman appears and makes it good.
My adrenaline rush is still on. I was nervous, panicky and frightened. It is my 1st time meeting him. I had a delighted evening. He treated me , and offered to walk me to my bus stop. Indeed a mature gentleman whom we saw in Victorian movie . Gentleman style . I really enjoy talking to him that I forget the time had passed my Cinderella time . Although I got black face from my dad ,sitting by the kitchen waiting for me, I felt a spark of joyfulness in my heart .
So Now, I am abit suffering from migraines from my nervous breakdown. (I panicky most of the time. Panicky if I change my job, Panicky if I had to do a presentation, and well. The Ka Chong (Panicky) Person. But it was indeed a start of beautiful friendship.

Today but Subba remind me of this song and I am just in mood for this song Taylor Swift. - Love Story – Dedicated to U ,Subba Aka Superman
Tay­lor Swift: Love Sto­ry
Changed By Ugly ling
U were young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flash­back starts
I'm stand­ing there
On a mrt entance in sum­mer air See the lights,
See the par­ty,
the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hel­lo
Lit­tle did I know That you were Romeo, you were throw­ing peb­bles
And my dad­dy said stay away from Juli­et
And I was cry­ing on the stair­case
Beg­ging you please don't go, and I said Romeo take me some­where we can be alone

I'll be wait­ing all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love sto­ry ba­by just say yes So I sneak out to the gar­den to see you
We keep qui­et cause we're dead if they knew

So close your eyes
Es­cape this town for a lit­tle while Cause you were Romeo, I was a scar­let let­ter
And my dad­dy said stay away from Juli­et
But you were ev­ery­thing to me
I was beg­ging you please don't go and I said Romeo take me some­where we can be alone
I'll be wait­ing all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love sto­ry ba­by just say yes Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is dif­fi­cult, but it's re­al,

Don't be afraid
We'll make it out of this mess
It's a love sto­ry ba­by just say yes Oh oh, I got tired of wait­ing
Won­der­ing if you were ev­er com­ing around
My faith in you is fad­ing
When I met you on the out­skirts of town, and I said Romeo save me I've been feel­ing so alone
I keep wait­ing for you but you nev­er come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, And said, Mar­ry me Juli­et you'll nev­er have to be alone
I love you and that's all I re­al­ly know
I talked to your dad, you'll pick out a white dress
It's a love sto­ry ba­by just say yes Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Cause we were both young when I first saw you

fear in me

As an depressed person , I used to live in fear .
FEAR to talk to people .
Fear to go out with people .
Fearful of everything .
Yesterday I got my taste of my favourite Macflurry . After enjoying it , I felt guilty and my mum start to yella t me to do laundry that caused me to miss my chit chat session with Superman. I think Superman is l like my miracle pill . I trying to reduce my anti depressant tablet and I always crowd his sms . I don’t know if he mind . But I think he is the man .
I think when I found a new friend indeed . I hope this will be start of beautiful friendship . Neverthless crazy me went to purchase a lot of books of interpersonal relationship . I had problem communicating ith guy . I can click easily with gals,but clicking with guys , I get nervous , tongue tied and my stomach grow butterfly . So I spend a lot of money on interpersonal relationship “Think like a man ,act like a lady” and a few Chinese books .Buddha thinking books and blah blah . It really make me broke for this month .
I enjoy talking with Superman because he is quite a gentleman and really wasn’t pushy . Sometimes u feel encouraged when u are sick and he would give a call and asked how are u as if he will bring you a doctor . What a kind gentleman he is . Responsible to take care of himself and also able to take care of others. But I wonder what kind of dream gal he desire . Someone who is independent . I am way off it . I am mummy and daddy gal . My dad feel strongly that I am still under him till I meet the prefect man which is able to take care of me , and I should report everything to that man . For this moment , I am living under his care, law and control . Whatever . That means my dad loved me a lot and he said that guy must love you a lot too .
Well , I am not independent and often clumsy , before I go for a date , I get into nervous jinx and wonder of all sorts of what if .
What if , he found me ugly .
What if , he found me naggy
What if , he found it is hard to communicate with me.
What if , he just want to get rid of me.
You know this chatterbox of mine love to filled myself with fears and then ended sleepless for the day and you would see the dark panda eyes the next day you see me. People would asked, are u nervous ? I would pretend .Nope . I am not .But actually I am nervous , frightened and tired.
So I hope I can enjoy myself and be cared by a wonderful man .Will My superman arrived?
That is for God to decided.

But I really wish to have a buddy to exercise with me today . I don’t know if I asked him if he want to join me in my jogging and exercise regime after work , would he mind? A cycling session or a jogging around park . I need someone to motivate me to live healthier , or play badminton or whatever.
Okay .For now , I will leave all these and panick for the coming events .

Wat A a GREAT DAY ,but my body aches

Yesterday I had an early rest . I feeling body aches . A friend smsed me but I was too tired to reply back . I hope S wouldn’t mind .I think it is nice that S would always asked how my day everyday after I know him . I hope he would tell me more about himself . Maybe he is introvent and shy I wished he could be online during the day rather at night , but his banking industry doesn’t allow him to be online in the day . And I really need rest as I don’t have a strong and healthy body .He made me linked to the thought of henry . They both share the Same birthday , same age . And how henry would help me and my mum in Melbourne to carry our stuff and what a little gentleman and times where I quarrel with him . I wonder if S would be having same character as him as they share the same stars. But well ..It is for me to know.
But well , I guess time will let me know more about him. But his presence , make me to link back those days , I even joked with my friend , if I found a boy of my dream , I may had to shave to thank her Indian God . And she laughed and laughed . I always tell her, “I am fat and ugly .Nobody would want me .” She said I had a funny kind of humours that she loved me for .
She said I make her tired day happier . I don’t know who made who happier. She make me feel appreciated.But I like sitting on the train with her and she tell me about her family woes and how her hubby screwed up her door and then to Lord Shiva and she would pray for my life time partner at Mariam temple . I jokingly tell her, Yah if I found one , I would shave myself Bold to thank god for that . And I asked her to imagine the botak me. She laughed and laughed. I said no man would love me when I go botak . And she laughed and laughed . No no .. He will love you for been a religious woman .,,wiggles and wiggles .
Anyway she always said I make her tiredness away .And she tell me trillion times that “Beauty may be what guy look for , but Gal , u got a character that a guy find out . U are quiet ,homely gal,very niave and indecent and fun loving . She said .”gals from dehli was vicious smart and always out to steal relationship and in the end , some broke hearts and been too wild .” So beauty wouldn’t stay long in any relationship . She advised me that So I should look at my good points more .”Good point?” I would tell her yah . NIAVE is equal to dumb .So I am dumb am I ?
BOO HOO HOO .She would had a look that I trying to twist whatever she said . Friends like them make my life more easier to bear .
.But whatever it is good to know a new friend .I was thinking about what my good brother Yoda said . Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” I agreed in somehow . Yah At first I fear of losing things and then suddenly the more people did to hurt me , it lead to anger and then hatred for one and in the end constant suffering(Depression) .But I am not the only one who suffered this silence illness. Sun Yan Zi too .Yoda , I just want u to know nomatter what happen , as you are always here for me, I want to be here for you in whatever I can . Your brotherhood is something I feel proud of . I thank my God for you .
Today I must push myself to run . WILL I? And then prepare for my 12km run.
SO today what shall I do , read up C sharp books ? And then see what I can do to fix the PC which I lay my hands on .Thank God I stealing printed one library book . But I think this will be the last time I do . Nobody scold me here .But I think I better not overuse or keep stealing company resources .I wanted to buy some exercise books and Yoda said NO GO AND PRINT . Yoda ,You know every minute I am holding my breath when I print my books from the printer . I feared that I would be killed and shot dead just because I printed from company resources . Yah Saving a few bucks ,but then I ruin my name and bad reputated .But Yoda, you are right , if I would to buy the exercise book like Galloway to half marathon training . I would be always constant in debt . So I don’t know to thank you , or cursed you .Hahahahahaah.Maybe you could help me to print book at your place there?
Hahahahahahahah…..Have a good day ahead to all who read my blog .

Medicine Quetipaine

http://www.medicinenet.com/quetiapine-oral/article.htm

The side effects of this medicine is horrible.

OBESITY

The so called wonder pills

http://www.pdrhealth.com/drugs/rx/rx-mono.aspx?contentFileName=lex1642.html&contentName=Lexapro&contentId=438
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/medications_depression.htm
As in singapore there are developed details talking about anti depressant tablets .
Above 2 websites are good for those taking anti depressed tablets.
Antidepressant medicines, like Lexapro, may increase suicidal thoughts or actions in some children, teenagers, and young adults when the medicine is first started. Depression and other serious mental illnesses are the most important causes of suicidal thoughts and actions. People with bipolar disorder or who have a family history of this condition (also called manic-depressive illness) are at a greater risk. Contact your doctor immediately if you experience any changes, especially sudden ones, in mood, behavior, thoughts, or feelings. Signs to watch for include new or worsening depression, new or worsening anxiety, agitation, insomnia, hostility, panic attacks, restlessness, extreme hyperactivity, and suicidal thinking or behavior. This is very important when an antidepressant medicine is first started or when the dose is changed.

Lexapro may cause a severe, possibly life-threatening condition called serotonin syndrome or neuroleptic malignant syndrome-like reactions. Contact your doctor immediately if you experience any of the following symptoms: agitation, hallucinations, coma, fast heart beat, changes in blood pressure, increased body temperature, lack of coordination, overactive reflexes, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea.

Do not stop taking Lexapro without first talking with your doctor as this can cause serious side effects.

Lexapro may cause a condition called hyponatremia, or low blood sodium levels. Contact your doctor immediately if you experience any of the following: headache, difficulty concentrating, confusion, weakness, unsteadiness, hallucinations, falls, or seizures.

Lexapro may increase your risk of bleeding. Do not take Lexapro with aspirin, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, or blood-thinners (such as warfarin).

Lexapro may cause drowsiness and affect your mental and motor skills so do not drive or operate heavy machinery until you know how Lexapro will affect you. Avoid alcohol while taking Lexapro as it can worsen these side effects.

Lexapro should never be combined with MAOIs, a class of drugs used to treat depression, psychiatric or emotional disorders, or Parkinson's disease. Lexapro and MAOIs should not be taken together or within 14 days of each other. Combining these drugs with Lexapro can cause serious and even fatal reactions such as high body temperature, muscle rigidity, twitching, and agitation, leading to delirium and coma.

Do not suddenly stop taking Lexapro without talking to your doctor first as this can cause serious side effects.