the bright sunny day (2)

Fine clear days ....Good sunshine ..

But .... Lately I am greet by a sense of great darkness in my life , after watching 50/50 and then The beaver . I cant help feeling abit sharing thier same thoughts....feel for them .... And I got discourging email . maybe Yoda doesnt meant a thing ...I think he doesnt know how a depressed person feel . Just like in beaver .. Everybody know how to talk , but they know because they are not in the wrecked train ...

But something cheered me up . It was Willie . He tell me a different path of life .. maybe afterall it is okay to just let go ....Yah ......

after replying him , I played this song repeatedly in my ears .

.

RADIO hEAD - hIGH AND dRY .

two jumps and a week

I bet you think that's pretty clever, don't you boy

Flying on your motorcycle

Watching all the ground beneath you drop

Kill yourself for recognition

Kill yourself to never ever stop

You broke another mirror

You're turning into something you are not

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Drying up in conversation

You will be the one who cannot talk

All your insides fall to pieces

You just sit there wishing you could still make love

They're the ones who'll hate you

When you think you've got the world all sussed out

They're the once who'll spit at you

You'll be the one screaming out

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

It's the best thing that you ever had,

The best thing you ever, ever had

It's the best thing that you ever had,

The best thing you have had is gone away

the bright sunny day

really like the show The Beaver 2011 by Mel Gibson

I been watching the movie the Beaverhttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt1321860/
It make me related alot to my thinking and open the door to depression .
Yap . I know how he feels . But my depression is into his kind ,self destruct till one would cut off thier hand . I know it hurts when the whole world said ," He is mad ." He is clooney"

The sound track is nice . I like the quotes the :


Walter Black: People seem to love a train wreck when it's not happening to them.
Walter Black: Starting over isn't crazy. Crazy is being miserable and walking around half asleep, numb, day after day after day. Crazy is pretending to be happy. Pretending that the way things are is the way they have to be for the rest of your bleeding life.
\

Walter Black: We reach a point where, in order to go on, we have to wipe the slate clean. We start to see ourselves as a box that we're trapped inside and no matter how we try and escape, self help, therapy, drugs, we just sink further and further down. The only way to truly break out of the box is to get rid of it all together... I mean, you built it in the first place. If the people around you are breaking your spirit, who needs them? Your wife who pretends to love you, your son who can't even stand you. I mean, put them out of their misery. Starting over isn't crazy. Crazy is being miserable and walking around half asleep, numb, day after day after day. Crazy is pretending to be happy. Pretending that the way things are is the way they have to be for the rest of your bleeding life. All the potential, hope, all that joy, feeling, all that passion that life has sucked out of you. Reach out, grab a hold of it and snatch it back from that bloodsucking rabble.

I'm not okay, not at all, the truth is, I'm missing something. The thing I loved the most, the face I wish were in the front row right now, the brother I'll never get back. So what do I do with that? What do any of us do? Besides lie. This is what I believe, right now, in this auditorium, there is someone who is with you, someone who is willing to pick you up, dust you off, kiss you, forgive you, put up with you, wait for you, carry you, love you. So while everything may not be okay, one thing I know is true, you do not have to be alone.

This is a picture of Walter Black, a hopelessly depressed individual. Somewhere inside him is a man who fell in love. Who started a family. Who ran a successful company. That man has gone missing. No matter what he's tried, and he's tried everything, Walter can't seem to bring him back. It's as if he's died, but hasn't had the good sense to take his body with him. So mostly what he does is sleep.

Saying Goodbye to yesterday .

I wanted to help out my cousin to do his website .But part of me is very angry that he didnt invited me to his new born baby( my nephew) . So who cares anyway ? but I thinking of doing something useful . Doctor told me . Hold on ...U will be forever down . U will be up . When is it?When shall that day come?

I had been plagued . I am happy to see Yoda ,yet I am fearful for falling for him . At times I am very afraid my consious will disappear . I thinking of messaging him hello ..Good morning . Have a good day ahead .>big kiss kiss..Then I think I would draw boundaries..Coz after all ...we all know where we stand.....I dont know what to do .

I complete my marathon .And there will sense of achievement .But after it was just pure aches . I walk with a Blade runner . I think he is good and feel with enderance even his blading legs are hurting him .And i realised...even he lost his legs , he didnt lost his spirit . But what am I doing? Why had i lost my spirit so .......easiler...


So a few more days ..I take the cup of wine and sings .. Auild lang syne ...
confused ...lost ...disturbed distress.....

SPYAIR - Samurai Heart (Some Like It Hot!!!)

Written by MOMIKEN
Composed by UZ(SPYAIR)
Arranged and Performed by SPYAIR

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Original / Romaji Lyrics	English Translation
dokka ue no sora de sappari kiite naindarou? wazato kobosu SAIN minogasu kimi hora itsudatte onaji de wakariatteru ...tonda kanchigai da yo koko ni iru boku ni kizukenaindarou	Somewhere above the sky you didn't listen at all, did you? You purposely overlook the sign that came to you. See, we always understand each other perfectly... What a huge misunderstanding. You don't even notice me standing right here, do you?
hitogomi ni magirete hitori munashiku tte miageru sora todokanai kaiwa KACCHI BOORU kodoku wa mashiteku	Mixed in the crowd all alone I gaze at the sky without a purpose. With this conversation game of catchball that won't reach My loneliness grows.
Hey!! Hey!! kotaete dareka imasenka? zutto sagashite mo kotae nai ya Hey!! Hey!! boku dake ga boku wo tsukuru kara naitatte, waratte nikundatte aishite ikite yukou Hey! Hey! SAMURAI HAATO (some like it hot)	Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there? No matter how much I search, there's no answer back. Hey!! Hey!! Only I will make myself, so Even if I cry, even if I smile, even if I hate, I'll live my life with love. Hey! Hey! Samurai Heart (Some like it hot)
nopperi toshita Day by Day mattaku kyou mo onaji darou? tokekomenai hito ni narenai machi Ah hitonami ni tachidomari kurikaeri tashikameta ashiato mae yori honno sukoshi wa aruketeru kamo	I've lived my life expressionless, Day by Day, and today is no different, is it? This is a town where you can't not fit in. Ah, standing in the waves of people, I make sure of those repeating foot steps And then I feel that maybe I can walk a bit more than before.
surechigatta machi no GARASU ni samishige ni utsutta jibun mukatsukunda sonna jibun mo mukanshin na sekai mo	In the glass of the town I passed through My lonely self reflected back Along with my irritated self And the indifferent world.
Hey!! Hey!! kotaete dareka imasenka? zutto sagashite mo kotae nai ya Hey!! Hey!! boku dake ga boku o tsukuru nara "Dou datte ii" nante omowanai de hontou no koe wo...	Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there? No matter how much I search, there's no answer back. Hey!! Hey!! If only I will make myself Then the true voice inside of me that doesn't think "Whatever" goes...
Hey!! Hey!! hitori ja ikirenai daro? HAATO sutete made tokekomenai Hey!! Hey!! akirameru riyuu wa iranai kimi datte funbatte kono machi de ikiteikunda	Hey!! Hey!! You can't live alone, can you? If you throw away even your heart, you'll never fit in. Hey!! Hey!! You don't need a reason to give up Because even you can stand frim and live in this town.
Hey!! Hey!! kotaete dareka imasenka? zutto sagashite mo kotae nai kara Hey!! Hey!! boku dake ga boku wo tsukurunda naitatte, waratte nikundatte aishite ikite yukou Hey!! Hey!! SAMURAI HAATO (some like it hot)	Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there? No matter how much I search, there's no answer back. Hey!! Hey!! Only I will make myself, so Even if I cry, even if I smile, even if I hate, I'll live my life with love. Hey! Hey! Samurai Heart (Some like it hot)

The overweight depressed lady

Alternatively, the person who is sensitive about her weight may become a people-pleaser in
the hope of winning the approval and love of others who she hopes won’t notice her weight. She
cares for others and disregards her own needs, thereby gaining the satisfaction in life she craves.
When she feels lonely, she eats; when she feels unappreciated, she resorts to food to fill the void.


If the eater engages in compulsive eating, he or she further
defeats finding a solution. It is necessary for such people to redefine their relationship with food
and exercise (e.g., “this is what I usually eat,” “this is what I rarely eat,” “this is what I do in
terms of physical activity”). Later chapters emphasize this need.


Other psychological factors that can produce emotional eating include how a person
thinks about food and eating. A person may make excuses and rationalizations to give himself
or herself permission to eat in unhealthy ways (“This has been such a stressful day; I deserve
a treat” or “Well I’ve blown it, so why not keep eating?”). If you have difficulties being
assertive, you may resort to food to stuff down painful feelings. Thinking of yourself as someone
who can’t resist food or who has a sweet tooth makes it harder to incorporate changes in
lifestyle that are necessary for weight management success. “I’m a chocoholic” is a self-definition
sure to make it harder to resist temptation. To overcome emotional eating and succeed
in making a lifestyle change that leads to a healthy weight, you must redefine who you are and
how you act in relation to food and exercise.


www.weightloss.about.com/od/emotionaleating1/emotional_eating.htm

I shouldnt go to BISHAN junction 8 and buy from singtel store at level 2

I brought this on impluse and cut cheated . The Skin is not thick enough to protect my ipad 2.